We Rage Race In Grand Theft Auto V Online

– I’m just leaving the
race and going home. (upbeat music) – Today, we’re going to be
playing Grand Theft Auto online. But we’re gonna be
racing online this time. Doing cool stuff like
stunts and Hot Wheels. – I don’t know that this will go well. I feel like I’ve just
kind of given up hope, being confident in these
Grand Theft Auto videos because it never goes the
way that I think it should. Oh, shit! Offroading a little bit. Oh, no, I just hit a bunny. I just got killed by a mom! – Well, I don’t play
a lot of racing games, other than Mario Kart. I think anyone that’s
playing online right now has been playing online
for a really long time and they’re very good at it. – I’m a big fan of like The
Fast and Furious franchise, and cars, in general, so this
will probably be really fun. Hell yeah, Vin Diesel. – I think I’m gonna do great. Great, great, I’m gonna do great. – The names of the people coming in here are making me nervous. One guy named atvdestroyer. The host is named HellRaiser,
so this is gonna be fun. – Winning toast. Jazz hands, I better win. Just for my jazz hands. – I’m betting $800 (chuckles). No, I’m not confident at all. But I just wanted to waste the money. Somebody gives you an
opportunity to waste money, waste it, don’t save it. – So, so far this seems pretty normal. Don’t know (yells). Okay, I guess I’m– Oh, my God. Let me get back on the (sighs). – I’m not concerned about this at all. Nope, not concerned,
I’m just backwards now. – Oh, God. Jesus Christ. (laughs)
(censor beeps) I don’t know why I started off so slow. But that did not go well at all. Whoa, shit. Why are you– Chill, dog. – Oh, God, okay. (laughs) I might need to have, like my depth perception checked after. No, no, no, no, no. – Well, somehow I caught
up to these losers. Three out of five, I
would get a bronze metal, if I was in the Olympics. – Move, leave me alone. Stop, see that’s the thing
about these kids, dog. They just wanna hit you off of the track. It’s not God damn Mario Kart, chill. Can I boost? If this was Mario Kart, I’d
drift that corner right now. Get boost later. Go chop the head off of a mushroom. And put that in my engine
and use that as fuel. – I hope they start lapping me, so I can feel like I’m
racing against somebody. No, wasn’t what I was supposed– I took a guess, and I was wrong. (chuckles) It didn’t pay off. – I’ve been lapped, amazing. (chuckles) Okay, just ran into– That’s great too. It’s going really well. – I’m having a lot of fun right now. And oh, shit. (groans) Okay, I’m all right. (energetic music) – I guess you also need
to like aim the car when you’re in the air. Thank you. – How is everybody making
the jump except for me? (energetic music) – That’s nope, go. Oh, how do I do a parachute? That’s what everyone’s doing. (laughs) Where’s my– How do I make my parachute go? (laughs) I gotta start reading. (energetic music) Oh, I think you probably– Yep, still a solid 10. Only been lapped once by everybody. Oh, God! – I was trying to be fancy. (yells) I made it from backwards. – I’m in second. Going up to the first
place person right now. I got 10 overtakes because
I’m a (censor beeps) boss. Oh, he just finished, never mind (laughs). So, I can’t win. Oh, God! Well, I’m gonna get second anyway because everybody else is
garbage (laughs) at this game. Is that Keanu Reeves (laughs)? – Okay, parachute. This one has like three things
you have to keep track of. You also don’t wanna let your– Do you guys know I normally wear glasses? – Well, it’s just me
and this other guy left. Did the other guy finish also? (sighs) This is like
when you’re in daycare, and everyone else’s parent
has come to pick them up, and you’re just like the last one left, and it’s like pretty clear
your parents don’t love you. That’s how I feel right now. DNF.
– Well, this next– I still won money on that. – First race was great. First race I got second
that finished on the podium. – It went exactly how I expected it to go. – I wanna get onto the next one. And then, I can like have a fresh slate. – It’s just me and another dude. So, I gotta at least come in second. (intense music) – It’s a regular stunt race. Oh, (censor beeps). Oh, shit, I’m in a helicopter now. I don’t know how to fly helicopters. This is gonna suck. – There’s already somebody– Okay, how do I get– Ah, is this how– That worked. – This is the first time that my opponent has been in sight, so we’ll just keep rolling with this. – Back to car. Somebody just (censor beeps) up. And I’m about to pass him. Oh, shit, okay. Well, now I’m in a (censor beeps) jet. So, as soon as I said,
“Let’s go back to cars.” It says, “No, (censor beeps) you. “We’re doing jets now.” And I don’t know what just happened. My car has a rocket engine? – This says a lot of people are crashing, and that gives me a little bit of hope. If I just stay back, mind my own business, then maybe I can finish this race. I see people ahead of me, this is going– I’m not gonna jinx it. It’s just fine, it’s fine. – Okay, I need to employ
some real racing strategy. Which I will do by
taking the inside corner. Get out of my way, loser. Okay, well, I’m– Okay, I’m in first! Relish this moment, you guys. I can guarantee it’ll happen again. – I’ve got wings, I got wings now. I’m a (censor beeps) wing boy. (eagle squawks) I’m in a plane, a biplane. Oh, okay, get some dunk hurt going on. (upbeat music) Yep, I crashed because planes are dumb. – I don’t know, I’m in Tron now. Oh, my God. Where is this in LA? It’s supposed to be. It’s like one of those fun houses where you can’t tell how fast
you’re moving but also, what? – Still in first, just
having a grand old time, being in first place. Damn, being a winner feels so good. – Oh, wow, looks like
I am really far behind. – Oh, people are already done? I passed somebody. No (screams)! (laughs) I was in ninth place! (screams) I’m still in ninth place somehow. Okay, but I can finish in under 10. – Back in the plane, this is my weak spot. I’m just gonna use up and
down, not try to turn. (censor beeping) (censor beeps) this. All right, I died, I lost. Cool, nice, all right. I’m a quitter, I’m a
quitter, I’m a quitter. Let’s go fly into the God
damned ether (laughs). Remember in Iron Man when
(laughs) he was like, “All right, Jarvis, take me to– I’m so ashamed. – Wow, still in first, even though I’m like spending half
of my race on the bank. Okay, sharp turn. Gotta nail this, gotta nail it. Just don’t look back. Just focus on my own race. I got it, we’re good, you guys. Oh, shit, okay, it’s fine. There’s plenty of race left. (intense music) How shitty it is to be a loser. I wouldn’t know ’cause I’m a winner! I got first, not only did I
finish the race, I got first! (fun music) That’s not relevant. Wait, I’m jazz handing. (fun music) – Now, I’m gonna use the rocket. Okay, okay, all right, that
was respectable, sort of. In some circles, top 10
of something is good. How much worse did I
do than everybody else? (upbeat music) – GTA online racing is dope, man. I wanna play it all the time now. – I don’t know that it’s like
my favorite part of the game, but it was fun to play. – But it was fun, I think I could, I think if I practiced, and actually tried that I could do better
and it would be fun. (upbeat music)

Danny Hutson

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