(Radical music plays) Speedrunner. Yes sir? I’ve got a Hot Pocket in the oven, and I want a hot game in my oven What can we beat before the timer’s done? Phantasy Star Online is on your list. FANCY STAR that sounds expensive! Alright, let’s play! My mission is to find Red Ring Rico. We enter the Forest. Kill the dragon. Descend through the caves. Eliminate Dr. Osto’s experiment. Enter the Mines. And blow up the computer terminal to gain access to the Ancient Alien Ruins. Sir, I’m noticing irregular bandwidth fluctuations are you downloading anything? Of course not! Do you know what piracy does to the entertainment industry? I require a stable connection if I am to defeat the final boss. Yeah cool your CPU. I was just downloading something for a friend. How’s that? Oh this is nice. This is not nice. Ah! Well, the Ruins was actually a derelict alien space ship. Ahh, what a twist! And Red Ring Rico is totally dead. Rest In Pepperonis. Hold the pizza! You’re not done yet and neither is my Hot Pocket. Shall I beat Episode 2 sir? Yes quick! We only have 20 seconds until my Hot Pocket’s done! Gasp. (Awesome montage music) I’M READY. I have to beat these 3 islands to unlock the Seabed Lab so I can kill another experiment gone wrong. And that’s game. (Microwave beeps) Ah, a great game before a great meal! What game shall we speedrun next sir? Hmmmmmm, that is a good question Speedrunner, what game should we speedrun next?