LMAO: PERVERTS OF THE INTERNET (PT. 1)


(water swirling) – Today, we are going to find
the perverts of the internet. What do we got first? Antique hand crank
women’s vibrating dildo. An antique dildo? “Amazing condition for
being over 70 years old,” “but still works great.” 70 years old? That thing has seen more (cat shrieking) than Justin Bieber and
Charlie Sheen combined. “Was my great grandma’s and
passed down to my grandma,” “and then to my mother.” I mean, my family has passed
down a necklace or a ring from generation to generation. What kind of kinky ass family passes down a dildo? “My wife was not
interested in it,” “so I need to sell ASAP.” “Need money for Christmas.” If a hand crank dildo
wasn’t enough for you, well it turns out
there’s a massive history behind dildos and sex toys. Before dildos, this is
what they did in France. Yes, it is a woman
getting hosed down in the (woman moaning) Next. Mobile brothel. So, is this like the
vintage Bang Bus? (ding) “I bought this former
mobile brothel” “from one of the oldest
pimps in Nevada.” “I believe it’s the one I
was conceived and born in.” “My mother found it
for me a few years ago” “while volunteering for the
humane society in Vegas.” “I bought it right away
for $10,000 dollars” “because it’s kind of
sentimental to us.” Okay, I get that it
has sentimental value. But why would you
pay $10,000 dollars on a mobile home that
has seen more ass than Big Sean and Hugh Hefner? – ♪ Ass, ass, ass, ass, ass – “Since my father was
an aeronautical engineer” “turned Navy Seal, firefighter” “and a CIA spy who worked
for Richard Nixon himself.” “Anyways my mother and
I hoped to restore it” “to its former glory days and
get her back on the road.” “But after applying
for permits,” “we were denied for a
massive crab infestation” “and mold issues.” “P.S. Dad if you
are reading this,” “please email me as I would
love to meet you someday.” You almost feel
bad for this guy. On to the next. Coffee table of the gods. “This coffee table is
perfect for somebody” “with a cocaine habit or
shooting a porno movie.” That just went from Christianity
to Satanism real quick. “As you can see
from this photo,” “the majestic beauty
of this coffee table” “rivals earthly
treasures such as:” “the color of the
sky at sunset,” “the laughter of small children” “and infidelity.” “The price on this table is a
firm $7 dollars and 83 cents,” “four cans of Chef
Boyardee beef ravioli,” “and a framed photo
of Betty White.” Sounds like this guy’s
gonna rub one off to Betty White while using
the beef ravioli as lube. Mmm mmm. What do we got next? 55 gallons of lube. Who the (dolphin noise)
needs 45 gallons of lube? Passion natural
water-based lubricant. 55 gallons. An adult film studio or maybe a retirement home. The reviews are the
best part of this. Sean said, “As UPS discretely unloaded
my 55 gallon drum,” “the driver accidentally
spilled it into the driveway.” “Any amount of cars can
now fit into the garage.” Konrath said, “I’m surprised by
the high price.” “It would be cheaper if
they sold it in bulk.” “I’ll wait until they
release a three pack.” A three pack? Yeah. That’s definitely
a retirement home. Okay, that’s all the weird
(dolphin noise) I can handle for the day. Thank you guys for
watching this video. Make sure you hit that thumbs
up if you enjoyed the video. And subscribe to this
channel and my channel, Uh-Oh Monkey TV. My name is Uh-Oh Nick. Until next time guys, Byes. (water swirling) (monkey sounds) (upbeat music)

Danny Hutson

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