Hello Internet! In these dark times that are actually less dark than any previous point in history but thanks to the internet, we’re all starting to realize everything that’s wrong with the world that can make things seem increasingly despairing despite progress being made, WHAT we need is a YouTuber that was secretly struggling with mental health problems giving advice to other suffering young people. Because hey, why did Troy and Gabriella sing “We’re all in this together”, if we aren’t standing hand in hand when we reach our inevitable dooms. It’s the INTERNET SUPPORT GROUP! But first a bit of liquid assistance to get me ready. Oh I’m sorry. What were you expecting? I’m just making some calming green tea, so I feel healthy and energized, ready to give some advice. It tastes like grass, but it makes me look cultured, so I’ll stick with it. Our first question today comes from Angelina, age 12, from Australia mate Why Neither do I. Make friends with other awkward people. Then you can just meet up and sit around in silence, not looking at each other. It’s kind of weird, but it works. Ron, 18, USA, would like to ask, D. Better but not great. Seriously, you’re asking me that? How insensitive are you people? You didn’t say what, but everyone will immediately assume the worst thing, so I don’t know if that was the right call there. Two options: Either you just go up to them and say “Hey, buddy Uhhh I was kind of hoping this would be a fresh start so could you not say that?” or if that doesn’t work just do something else so scandalous that you’ll get rebranded to Baby Juggler or something zany. 18 Joanna from California. *not clickbait* Honestly the fact that anyone ever has to say that these days is so depressing. Uhhh what? *Laughs* Okay Daniel Dumpground road. Ha ha ha. Like most things, it’s funny because it has a hint of truth. NOW We go to Olivia age 16 from Butt-fucking, Oklahoma. I hope that’s a real place. Awww Thank you. I genuinely needed that Awww Thank you. I genuinely needed that let’s go to Brianna 15 from Maryland Let’s go to Briana, 15, from Maryland. Um, okay, firstly I have decided that I wear white shirts in this series. Okay, and in the world of white shirts this is a pretty interesting one, okay? I don’t know what you want from me, but I feel like I’m doing a pretty good job here already, okay, Also, uh yeah, just go for it, whatever. Natalie, age 16 from the USA is inquiring Jesus. Die and Rot? Jesus, die and rot? Right, well what I would say here–oh wait, there’s another email. Oh. Right, well. Cool, then. guess I – guess you don’t need me nevermind Elizabeth, 17, Michigan who hopefully actually needs me. It ain’t normal enough to be honest. Good for you for thanking your mum though. Anyone that spends their free time helping others and not expecting gratitude is a good person And so do you sound like, for just saying thank you. So you know what I say you make sure to spend some time looking after yourself, okay, because you deserve it unlike her. What was their name? Natalie–fuck Natalie. Let’s take one now from Lauren, aged 15, US. Let’s take one now from Lauren, aged 15, US. Do continue. Do continue. Did he literally just Google “boobs”? That is so innocent. Did he literally just google boobs And traumatizing for you. Lauren, I think you need to have a chat with your brother, and that’s the Lauren, I think you need to have a chat with your brother, and that’s the “Firstly, you’re twelve; secondly, not on the family iPad!” chat. Secondly not on the family iPad!” chat. Anna 16, OZ writes in: Anna, 16, OZ, Well that’s perfect because neither does the British government. Well that’s perfect because neither does the British government.
*lit jazzy music* *lit jazzy music* Sorry I had to. sorry, I had to It’s like I’m literally drinking out of Shrek’s swamp. It’s like I’m literally drinking out of Shrek swamp. Luke, 25, and a Florida man. I’m expecting big things. Luke, 25, and a Florida man Gator? OKAY, SAD DOG STORY, HERE WE GO!! Gator? OKAY SAD DOG STORY HERE WE GO! Oh.*throws tissues/thuds in background* Oh.*throws tissues/thuds in background* Aw, look at him, good boy, yes – Aw, look at him, good boy, yes- Oh no, wait, no, he’s a bad dog
(as if such a thing exists) Right, if this dog is disrespecting you in your own home, Right, if this dog is disrespecting you in your own home you need to start speaking his language. You need to start speaking his language You know what I say: you climb into his bed at night, and you chew on his feet you go pee all over his property, you go up to your girlfriend and start humping her leg before he does and then just make eye contact with him the whole time and then maybe, if your girlfriend doesn’t think you’ve gone completely crazy, it might work. Don’t hold me responsible. girlfriend doesn’t think you’ve gone completely crazy. It might work. Don’t hold me responsible Ty, 11, from Maine has sent me a whole email in Japanese, okay… Dan, that’s about all I can understand Ty, 11, from Maine had send me a whole email in Japanese okay… Dan, that’s about all I can understand AAAAAA Aaaaaaahhhh *noise of realization* Aaaaah *crickets chirping* *crickets chirping* Susi, 17, UK. Susi, 17, UK Hi If you say no, there is no consent. If you say no, there is no consent. You are a person with feelings not an object You are a person with feelings, not an object that’s just there to be sexy whenever he’s in the mood. that’s just there to be sexy whenever he’s in the mood Explain this to him, make him understand, get him to apologize for it, and if he ever does it again just Replace him with a fucking house plant or something that will give you just as much joy and respect unlike the respect I showed to my bonsai. This is why it’s important to stay hydrated (R.I.P) Benny, aged 18 from LA would like to ask: Do I look like I could give advice on growing facial hair? How’s about you come back to me when I’m freakin 36, and I’ve actually finished puberty. Heh Heh. Let’s go to Let’s go to Veera, aged 15, from Denmark. Veera aged 15 from Denmark Carla, Daniel People being bullied for having ginger hair, is literally the perfect example of how dumb People being bullied for having ginger hair, is literally the perfect example of how dumb humanity is and how they will find literally anything to divide each other over. Don’t dye your hair black, Humanity is and how they will find literally anything to divide each other over Love yourself, okay, and whether you choose to deal with it or just ignore these morons I really hope that you meet people in the rest of your life that don’t find orange protein strings funny All right, Nathan, 23, from Lancaster. No, it is totally a thing that any holiday or occasion like a birthday comes with all of these No, it is totally a thing that any holiday or occasion like a birthday comes with all of these expectations to buy people gifts and compare yourselves to others expectations to buy people gifts and compare yourselves to others but what you can’t buy is sincerity so maybe try making something sentimental that represents what you mean to that person or just tell them you’re having a rough time at the moment represents what you mean to that person or just tell them you’re having a rough time at the moment because if they love you, you because if they love you, you being there with them should be enough of a gift. Being there with them should be enough of a gift now. Now we have one from Mary, age 34, from France Now we have one from Mary, age 34, from France I really want to believe that somewhere there is a nun watching these YouTube videos. In which case then you have failed and you are definitely going to hell. But no, in all seriousness It’s actually quite good for the environment to conserve water And Jessica, 17, from New Mexico, USA And Jessica, 17, from New Mexico, USA Hold up, what the fu – Hold up, what the fu – Alrighty, well, my tea has turned into a weird powdery sludge Alrighty, well, my tea has turned into a powdery sludge and apparently I have to go call the FBI to warn them about some vampire and apparently, I have to go call the FBI, to warn them about some vampire so, this seems like a good time to stop, quickly haha If you want me to answer one of your Problems in a future video then just email your name, age, location, and query to [email protected] But if that’s not enough for you. If you want me, up close and personal in your face in real life Then why don’t you come see Phil and I on our 2018 world tour with a whole insane stage show we are calling “Interactive Introverts” good name, right? “Interactive Introverts” good name, right? it’s accurate. Well, as it’s accurate or as well as generally having the best time of your freakin life and looking at us both doing some mild exercise because we’re stood up. You get to join thousands of people just like you laughing at us in person get to join thousands of people just like you laughing at us in person We are like actually going around the whole world so if you want to see where we’re going, When hand get tickets to come see us just go to DANANDPHILTOUR.COM Unless you’re Jessica. Please don’t come Jessica. I’m actually scared *Boom* If you enjoyed this give me a little cheeky thumb rub, that should earn you a creepy high school nickname And if you want to know when I’m making more content to keep you content then remember to subscribe and And if you want to know when I’m making more content to keep you content then remember to subscribe Ring the bell for notifications Ring the bell for notifications You can watch a v mysterious video that I made with Phil by clicking over there Stay strong. If we all hope hard enough, the end will surely come Goodbye.