Internet Comment Etiquette: “People Freaking Out”

Internet Comment Etiquette: “People Freaking Out”


Hey everybody, welcome to Internet Comment Etiquette. If this is your first time in my classroom, I just want to let you know that this is the show where I teach you how to go about your time on the internet With the mind of a gentleman. So welcome, we’re all class acts over here. Have a seat. Now today we’re gonna learn how to laugh at people who are freaking the fuck out. *OH MY GODDDD* His car’s on fire! *IT’S MESDDHSDFE OH MY GOD* *DUDE* Oh man. I’m so glad that isn’t happening to me right now, I’m just sitting in my chair drinking some wine. I’m totally calm! *Oh my goodd* Alright. Well, I’m gonna leave a quick and relevant anecdote for the comment section below. “I remember one time I was slappin’ my baby to sleep when I noticed my neighbor’s kitchen was on fire. First thing I did was grab my garden hose and spray the whole side of my house, so it wouldn’t light up, then I attached the host of my baby until it blew up like a water balloon and kicked that little asshole right through my neighbor’s kitchen window where it immediately doused the flames then I took my boat out and hate-fucked a tuna IIIII’m Mormon! Hashtag delete Facebook.” And post! Wait hold up that comment section was disabled the whole time I was writing that so then where did that comment just go? Aw, no, it was on a Shakira music video. ♫ You know you got me hypnotized ♫ Ah fuck! Ah, stupid Erik! Fuck fuck! ♫ Move like you come from Colombia ♫ That’s not a relevant anecdote. Agh fuck! Stupid! Ah! ♫ (intro music) ♫ Hey guys, sorry for freaking out like that. It’s really embarrassing, but you know we all freak out sometimes. Doesn’t make it any less funny when you see someone else doing it. And back before the days of the internet to see someone freak out in public you’d have to actually go out into public. But now you can get that glorious feeling on demand with sites like Reddit, where all I have to do is roll out of bed to see this little idiot get himself stuck inside a claw machine. *Aaaaahah!* *We gotta calm down, honey.* Oh man, fuck that kid. And wouldn’t you believe it? There’s a whole subreddit dedicated to public freak-outs. Let’s see what the reddit folks have to say about this kid. “The muffled scream is hilarious.” “Lmao. Kids are so fucking stupid” Ah, there’s a subreddit for that too. “Dumb fuck” “Play stupid games. Become stupid prizes.” “Oh my god. I fucking hate children” LMFAO good job kid and better job parent for ignoring him long enough to [incomprehensible BMS noises] “Roy Moore would love this game” Well, count that. And real quick I’m gonna show you how to leave a proper and respectful comment on Reddit. See Reddit’s tricky because the amount of wit and intelligence is a much higher bar than the normal YouTube comment. So watch how I navigate those guidelines. “50 Shades Darker Full Movie” And hit ’em with the shady link. And post! If you click that link you buy Facebook stock from me. You got to really trick people into doing it these days now. I know we got a wonderful lesson ahead of us today because I just found the most classic freakout video to ever grace the internet. “Greatest freakout ever” *Okay, my mom just canceled my brother’s World of Warcraft account and he is freaking out.* *(screaming in background)* *(laughing) Oh my god* *(screaming)* *(laughing)* *GET OUTTA MY ROOM!* Remember this shit? This started the whole thing. *(SCREAMING)* Just look at him go! Here comes the best part. *(screaming; labored breathing)* . *AGHGAAHGGH!* Hehe. Oh, boy. *AAH!* *AAGHG!* *(more labored breathing)* *AGHLARGLAAAH* Oh, yeah. This takes me back to simpler times before everything on the internet was fake. “It’s faked!” What? I’ll freak out on this guy. “Bill Clinton killed my dog, you idiot! Don’t let him steal your fingerprints! That’s how they got my man O.J.! Gimme some cigarettes! AGHBALGLABRALA BLAGHRALLALBGLA WARARARA WHAT? WHO, ME? HA HEHGHEREL OH YEAH WHATTAYA GONNA DO ABOUT IT AGHGALRGLALAABABA FUCKING DIE. And post! Hey, quick question. How come there’s so many freakout videos from fast-food restaurants? I mean look at all of this. And these are all compilations, which means I’m looking at thousands of freak outs here. So, guess we’ll just pick this guy and– *(SCREAMING)* *NOOOOO!* *(MORE SCREAMING)* *NOT IN CHUCK E CHEESE!* Yes in Chuck E Cheese. *Ahahahahaha* Ohhh, hohoho. Having a bad day, lady? Hahahahahahaha. *Ahahahaha* Woo, man, I’ll tell you what. I am feeling great. I’m high as tits on other people’s misery, and I want more of that sweet candy. But then again, I think compilation lists are, are Are kind of dog shit cash-grabs from dumb dickheads who steal original content then poorly edit and then together. So. I’m gonna hit ’em with a comment from my spam account, Nude Celebs for Free. Come check out nude celebs for free if you wanna see all the most insane deepfakes this side of Ian McKellan’s CG ballsack! That’s right, we’re using self-learning AI algorithms to put all your favorite celebs in some of the nastiest fuckfest you’ve ever seen in your life. We deepfaked Mark Zuckerberg’s head on to the end of some dude’s dick and everyone we showed it to seemed to take him more seriously afterwards. Ring ring, Mark, next time you want to clone yourself into a body the better matches your personality, hit us up. We got the footage over at Nude Celebs for Free! Our deepfake technology so powerful that we accidentally take Bitcoin while deepfaking John Candy into the R Kelly piss tape. This is spam! And post! Hey, don’t put your dicks away yet cuz we got my favorite kind of freak out coming right up, the public racist freakout. Here we go. “Racist woman yelling and demanding to see a white doctor born in Canada” *What you’re telling you that my kid* *has chest pains he’s gonna have to sit here until 4 o’clock. Can I see a doctor please, that’s white?* Holy shit. Now that’s a freak out you can set your watch to. “I though Canadians were nice mmm.” *Why are you yelling at me? This is what happens–* *You are yelling at everyone! You’re yelling at everyone!* *So what?* *No, we are not fighting, we are fighting because–* *Well, there are–* “Empty wheelbarrows make the most noise.” *She is perfectly–* “Why everybody is attacking her? She wants white doctor to check up. I don’t see any problem here. Stupid people. You guys are racist than her! If she was black and demanding black doctor nobody wouldn’t complain. Hashtag double standards. More like hashtag double negatives! HEY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKIN AT AGHLAGHRABALW “At least she’s not blowing things up.” Well, I got my comment. “Hey, don’t worry. I’m sure if she was black she’d be in the hospital to identify her kid’s body because police shot him in his front yard for no reason. As for the person who said “at least she’s not blowing things up”, you obviously don’t live in Austin, Texas. I hope doctor someday locate whatever the fuck sort of misfiring synapse in your brain is responsible for coming to a video like this and twisting yourself and is such a salty hate-pretzel trying to find the road to sounding even more crazy than the lady screaming for a white doctor. I know it gets cold in the dark recesses of that corner you feel so backed into because of the burgeoning successes of things like acceptance. But we all know you people jerk off to interracial porn in your spare time so fucking email it to me. And now on Nude Celebs for Free if you use coupon code “I”m a virgin!”, no one would be surprised. P.S. Everyone knows Asian doctors are the best, so this bitch is wrong on all counts! And post! Ah, shit, I forgot to logout of Nude Celebs again. Oh well, fuck it. Now finally, sometimes people freak out on purpose in order to break the conditioning cuz they’re tired of getting treated like sheep. Case in point a young Alex Jones, fighting against the DMV requiring thumb prints to renew your drivers license. *There we have it. Your photograph, they capture your signature, they capture your thumbprint and now Clinton wants urine and blood.* Hey, you know I’m actually with baby Alex on this one. I think those rules are a little draconian. *Look, I feel like I’m being raped here.* I wouldn’t put it that way, but you know it was a different time back then. People said– *If you’re saying I pay my taxes, I am raped by the IRS–which is criminal–* Just go back to back with it Alex. *You’re working with the foreign banks in the military-industrial complex!* *This is all their idea! Read the Military War College from 1968. They planned this!* Yeah, this is a good freak out. This is a freak out that means something. *I’m sick of sheep laying down. I wish you’d get up and do something. Makes me wanna vomit! *(cheering)* See he even gets applause. Well deserved, too because that was a masterful freakout. And I have a masterful comment. “Much like how a baby learns to cry and make a scene as a way of getting attention, we can see here the moment Alex Jones learned that freaking out like a fucking idiot and screaming overtop of the entire world would see him rewarded. Alex must have felt like Isaac Newton discovering gravity that day as he ran over ten dogs on the way back to the sausage-packing factory he lived above. If you look closely at his most recent videos, you can still see that Alex Jones employs even now a very slight and subtle amount of this adult temper tantrum journalism which got him so famous to begin with. I’m talking you gotta really put him under a microscope to catch it, folks, but next time you see Alex Jones beat the shit out of his desk while screaming and tearing his shirt off, rivulets of saliva crying from the corners of his beet-red mouth as he attempts to delegitimize the death of children, you might catch a glimpse of that flame which was sparked so many years ago, when Alex experienced the only standing ovation to ever take place at the DMV. Shya–Post! Wow, great lesson today guys. It’s just so nice to kick back and take pleasure in the mental anguish of other people, knowing full well that we’re not in those videos! You know what I mean? And if you are uuuuhhhhhhh… mrrrhrhr! EUUUUUUUUURHHH WRLGLABLA ♫ Big Money Salvia is here. Posting comments everywhere! ♫ Hey there folks. Check out neongrizzly.com for all the best Salvia merchandise including our new and improved batch of colloidal silver nutriceuticals that no longer cause cancer. And we’re legally required to say that if you took any of the old pills you’re gonna want to contact a physician. Or you could buy this Salvia Erik “Cancer canceler” to neutralize the effects of the bad pills. Buy now or whoops we killed you! Hey, we also got t-shirts! Here’s a goddamn t-shirt. Plus so many magnets you want to buy a second free. Hey, you son of a bitch! What do you think of this hoodie? That’ll show the deep state who they’re fucking with. Again, sorry about the pills. We probably already put a couple of you in the ground. ♫ Big Money Salvia ♫ ♫ Big Money Salvia, Salvia ♫ ♫ Big Money Salvia ♫ ♫ Big Money Salvia, Salvia ♫

Danny Hutson

100 thoughts on “Internet Comment Etiquette: “People Freaking Out”

  1. I like it when people freak out like when my brother freaked out over his back pack being dipped in flex tape anyway am I the only one that puts every dog I buy in a rocket ship that may it may not go into the sun, I don’t know, but what I do know is that Alex Jones hypnotized his pet frog to become gay to prove a point PEPTO BISMAL FOR LIFE!?!??

  2. I once overheard a guy at a doctor's office freaking out because he was asked to confirm his birth date. I didn't realize Alex Jones went to the same hospital as me.

  3. OH. HOW I RELATE TO POSTING LIKE THAT. DID IT ONCE TO ONE OF YOUR VIDS . JUST ERASED IT ALL .THEN I LOOKED LIKE THAT KID , BUT I’M OK NOW. THANK YOU. Jill walker

  4. It’s true though. Nobody would say anything to a black lady demanding a black doctor. That white lady in the video was still a bitch though.

  5. Young Alex Jones has a way softer voice. Must have been ruined by aLL THE SCREAMING ABOUT GLOBALISTS FAKING ALL THE GAY FROGS SHOOTING CHILDREN IN SCHOOLS IN DMVS!

  6. You are the best. I wondered for the longest time why you called yourself Erik Salvia and kept making references to it. I just found out today that you made that driving on salvia video from years ago.

    Good shit then and now man. Not that it matters what I think, but it's good to see you found your voice.

    Subscribed.

  7. From now on, instead of asking why someone is angry, I'm gonna ask why they're twisting themselves into such a salty hate-pretzel.

    10/10

  8. What about that pussyeating-freakingout association? I get you wanna eat pussy every time you freak out, but… does it work the other way arround too?

  9. This is Erik prime here ladies and gentlemen. He knows exactly what he is and what he's doing. No embarassing skits, you youtube famous guest circle jerk. Just prime Erik. Cured to perfection, lightly seasoned, medium rare, served with a side of slaw, and best enjoyed while thoroughly impaled on your boy's tube steak. AIDS

  10. world of warcraft turns you into a demon that cant survive without world of warcraft. I'm glad I know this now

  11. When you Google “fetching wovo space”, you`ll be equipped with what you have to start your web business as well as produce more than "$16,000". Do not delay in learning concerning this strategy. Nevertheless, the plan is evenly unique as it’s highly effective. You`ll find great results thru it. What are you waiting for? Give it a shot, you will not regret it!.

  12. I love you so much salva your my ninja and you could bounce on my dick any day please never stop and if you get black listed on social media ill follow you to minds.com and you max Keiser can talk cocaine and bit coin.

  13. Of course that racist freakout was in Mississauga, that place is a shit hole. Not as bad as Cambridge though

  14. Back in 1987 saw 2 obese women fighting over the last Cabbage Patch doll in Toys R Us.. Between them it was a good 700 pounds..
    Police were called and there was lots of stuffing, hair, and rendered fat all over the store.

  15. Why didn't I get this in my sub box this is the first time im seeing this but I don't want to turn on notifications because I sub to a lot of people and I only watch videos when I get the time so there isn't really a point

  16. HAHA it's hilarious when people still care enough about their lives to freak out when crazy shit happens, instead of being so dead inside that you secretly hope shit goes south because it gives you that rush of adrenaline that signifies one of the few instances in which you actually feel alive.

  17. Question: do you watch/know Eric Andre? Cause you both have very similar energy and personality. Plus you're both named Eric so that's kinda cool (yes yours is with a K I apologize ahead of time)

  18. I get a great deal of pleasure from the suffering of others, when I die I want to come back and haunt orphanages and bathe in the tears of the the weak

  19. Thank you, Erik! Now I leave weird and funny comments like you! Your class has really inspired me. Thank you for enlightening me to the ways of the troll!

  20. Hey you faggot sell out white nagger. Why don't you take you woke PC ass back to h3h3's drunken rant video. because even tho you made a ass of yourself in that video you were at least being more of yourself and not pandering to the BuzzFeed anti manspreading crowd. Fuck you. Have you ever had a dream you were having sex and then woke up with your finger in your ass? Rhetorical question Erik. We all know it happens often. Just be careful. That's how goatse guy started off

  21. Alex Jones "delegitimizing" the death of children. That's a lot of irony. Also there's something very funny about the idea of legitimate deaths of children vs. illegitimate. But abortion's legal some places so I guess it makes sense. Planned Parenthood, understandably, isn't called, "Legitimate Child Death." A woman expressing her ability to make choices is associated with baby killing. And being against it is called pro-life. And the people in support of choice in opposition to life (euthanasia?) criticize the lifers (lifers) for situations where children are allegedly mistreated, like child separation at the border from their trafficking adult and / or parent / relative.

    I think all this shows that language is being used to turn the Earth into a prison-planet like Alex Jones says so many things are.

  22. why the f¤&k did you write that on shakira. she is sexy and amazing, i cant beleive you did that. unsubbed.

  23. BILL CLINTON KILLED MY DOG YOU IDIOT DON'T LET EM STEAL YOUR FINGERPRINTS THAT'S HOW THEY GOT MY MAN OJ GIMME SOME CIGARETTES AHHHBLABARBABABABAGH. BAAAALAHAHAHAH WARBOLBLARBALFGH WHAT WHO ME HA HUEGEGGGG OH YEAH WHATRE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT AAAGHLAAHGALHGALGHABLAHRBARB THIS FUCKIN GUY

  24. Don't worry Erik, anyone who likes Shakiras music is a completely mentally handicapped person… Turns out there's a lot.

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