If Internet Ads Were Salesmen

If Internet Ads Were Salesmen


(clicking) – (pops) Well, lookie here! Looks like we got someone in the market for a new pair of shoes, hmm? – Oh, I just got them, so
I’m not looking anymore. – A guy who knows what
he likes and takes it. – I’m sorry, who are you? – Oh, I’m just a door-to-door targeted salesman and buddy, and I’m here to help. – A targeted salesman? – That’s right. I know your entire internet history, your likes, your dislikes, your friends, family, age, sex, location,
where you’ve been, where you’re going, favorite websites, and it’s all to get you the stuff you want when you want it! – I just needed a new pair of shoes and I got them, so thanks, but no thanks. (whooshes) How did you– – Oh, I’m everywhere,
and a good thing for you and for your wallet. Now, I don’t show this to just anyone, but I can tell you’re a savvy customer, so here is something that you are guaranteed to like. – Yeah, those are the shoes I just bought. – I knew you’d like them. – Yeah, but I just bought them, so I don’t need another pair. – Ooh boy! You are one tough
customer, you know that? But that’s alright. You’ve got high standards, and I’ve got the high quality goods to match. So let me ask you this, would you like a shirt that is designed not to be tucked in, huh? – No. – Really? – What about my search history made you think I’d want that? – You know what? Forget about it. I’ll bring it up later, okay? – Please don’t. – Now, we have to talk Doc McStuffins. How many Doc McStuffins toys can I put you down for? Eight? 10? 100? More? What do you want? – No, I don’t like Doc McStuffin, I was just looking for
a gift for my niece. – Oh, sure. Alright, I
see what’s going on here. Now, if you decide you want some Doc McStuffins toys for your niece, you just come to me,
okay, because I’ve got all the Doc McStuffins merchandise. McStuffins videos,
McStuffins coloring books, McStuffins pencils, I’ve got it all, and I’ve got it all right here! – Okay, no. Stop. It was a one-time purchase. – Now does that guy know
I’d love to donate sperm. – No, I don’t know what I could have possibly clicked on to
make you think that! – Okay, forget about it. What you really need is a shirt that’s designed not to
be tucked in, right? – Goddammit. – Or how about these shoes? – I just got shoes. – But these are a
slightly different color. – I don’t need two pairs of nearly identical shoes! – Now, any of these products
aren’t relevant to you, you just let me know, okay? – None of them are relevant. – Great, now I saw you click something that makes me think you want 40,000 live ladybugs. (insects buzzing) – I just clicked that
link ’cause I thought it was a funny thing on Amazon, not because I’d ever want to buy them. – Okay, but you did click it, so you’re kind of interested, right? Is it the number that’s the problem? ‘Cause we could do less, maybe 20,000 live ladybugs? (buzzing) – For something that’s supposed to know me so well, you
do a really shitty job. – Do you need to refinance
your student loans? (sighs) I saw you were on Zillow.
Do you need a mortgage? (groans angrily) I could save you money on the LSAT! – I don’t want to be a lawyer! – Well, at least let me show you some baby clothes I know you’ll love. – I don’t need ’em. My girlfriend’s not pregnant, so. – Oh, she didn’t tell, oh. Oh. – Oh fuck. – Well, how about a shirt
you don’t have to tuck in? Hi, it’s Mike Trapp from CollegeHumor. Click here to subscribe. Click here for more fun things, and send help to keep me from sinking. Please. Please help. Please help.

Danny Hutson

100 thoughts on “If Internet Ads Were Salesmen

  1. Pinterest has been doing this to me a lot lately. What about my saved pins makes you think I care about bad Italian heritage jokes? Especially since I've been trying to get them off my home page for a week!

  2. Yo! Did this video just predict the computer informing that dad that his daughter was pregnant before she told him, three years before it happened?

  3. I love the way he wiggles his fingers after saying 20,00 Ladybugs I actually started snickering right in the library.

  4. The baby thing is exactly how that works. Also I am surprised the salesman did not come up with a wedding/engagement ad

  5. That is really relatable. I bought a hoodie a month ago. I still see the exact same hoodie in ads. And also, for some reason it keeps on recomending me anti-age pills and incotence nappies for women 50 plus. I am 18 and have no idea why it reccomends that

  6. Id hate if this were to happen, i buy from to internet so i dont have to socialize so it defeats the purpose

  7. Fake and gay, if this was actually realistic it would suddenly be a chick with huge boobs out of nowhere saying "HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA"

  8. Usually I try not to skip ads so Youtubers get ad revenue, but then I got a 21 minute ad, I’m not kidding

  9. Maybe the internet ad just ask and then compare it to the data collected to see if he is just looking around or actually interested

  10. Well I think the main difference between this and targeted advertising is a lack of employees and teleportation technology.

  11. I quite literally bought an Invictus watch never once searched or even heard of it I didn't even know it was a brand of watch until I bought it. Then immediately after buying it I get ads on here, Facebook and Google about Invictus watches like WTF

  12. they forgot my favorite adds like how about these shitty games that no one likes but i promise they are the best games out right now

  13. I have to admit, not only is this one funny, it's also pretty damn accurate. Amazon has become the creepiest salesman ever, suggesting as this video shows that you buy anything you ever remotely or accidentally clicked on, even if by proxy for someone else, or if someone else logged into your account, and then it assumes that you're totally into that FOREVER. How about a shirt that you don't have to tuck in? I know you're totally going to like that.

  14. It is true Advertises will know if your wife or member of family is pregnant first before anyone else it's weird How Uncle same knows everything about us

  15. nice reference to that video you made about weird amazon shit. quality plug that only high IQ big brain big IQ quality head brain people will get

  16. Ah, man, the last 20 seconds of that was priceless…"my girlfriend is not pregnant"…"oh… she didn't..um, how about a shirt you don't have to tuck in."😂😂😂

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