23 hours in. There’s only one word going through my mind. Banana. So I have an idea. Here’s how it will work. We have a blank room. We have a 24 hour livestream. We have a reddit page. Whichever tasks get most upvoted… I must do. I cannot leave the room. I cannot do anything illegal. This is an experiment to see what the internet will do to a man. Also it’s just kinda fun. In theory. This is controlled by the web. So we just posted the teaser And people are very creative. Open the pickle jar using only jump rope and your legs. Find a way to put all of the seperate lunchable somewhere on your face. Leave the room, without leaving the room. Ah this is gonna be a trip man. This is gonna be a trip. So we have about 24 hours to go And I’m just getting the room setup. I’m also building this camera-rig out of PVC pipe to give kind of a dynamic angle throughout the stream. Hello friends. I hope you’re well. So they had me stand in a puddle of water with socks on and rap the entire Bee movie script. “According to all known laws of aviation.. There’s no way a bee should be able to fly There’s heating, there’s cooling and stirring. ‘Cause bees don’t care what humans think to fly You were thinking of what? There’s heating, there’s cooling, there’s stirring And learn your lines sir.” This whole experiment stream started out fun. Chat was excited. I was excited. Then came the second task. “Thank you for calling GameStop!” Okay! So calling GameStops and asking for BattleToads is an internet prank that originated on 4chan long ago. Ugh, this is very painful. I do not want to do this. 2 hour in. They’re telling me to do nothing. I’m actually looking forward to this one. When streaming sometimes you try to be entertaining. Here’s a task that basically says put all that aside and just be. So really what is doing anything? Is doing anything doing something? The wood grain is starting to move. I feel the blood rushing from my head to my toes. Create a song in an hour. Now I’m not a musician But thankfully those watching helped crowd-source the lyrics, background music, and voice. Coconut thank you for bringing it home there. Normally I would be clocking out of the office now. Not today, let’s knock these out until midnight. Draw my life in Virtual Reality Whip and nae nae for an hour Read Ratatoullie for an hour… ASMR style. There is excellence all around you. You need only be aware, and stop, and savor it. Was I doing this experiment because I wanted to? Am I even me? Is the internet me? Are we the internet? What is free will? Holy a random item and talk about free will for an hour. You can use a boot as a glove. That gets to the core of free will. Punctuation, unfluction, makes you think I’m saying something important energetic point on a sentence about free
will for a second I try to make myself believe I’m saying something of value. But really, I’m spitting into a mic, holding a boot, talking. Never has a pool float been this
comfortable. Yeah I feel good man. I feel re-energized. So um this is kind of a cool task. My first moment of conciousness was… I specifically remember I was sitting in my mother’s lap And she was stirring like a bowl of oatmeal, a bowl of cereal. First memory And I said “How are you doing that? How are you stirring that bowl of cereal?” That’s what I was trying to convey, I was trying to ask her how is she doing that? But she couldn’t understand me because I didn’t know how to speak. Another memory, this is in New York when I was a kid I’m standing in line, I think we’re waiting to go to recess or something. And this kid infront of me, his back is to me, He turns around, looks at me in the eyes. Straight up, socked me. Bam, right there. I lean back. I’m like I must have cried I mean I was a kid I didn’t fight back- Good lord, Lucy just threw up on the Aww Lucy, you okay dude? We’re gonna have to take a hiatus on this live story I gotta go be a dog dad Originally I was worried that through the night the goblins and ghouls of the internet would come out and sabotage the experiment But the contrary happened. I opened a public discord call and we just talked. For the first time in this experiment it wasn’t just me talking to a lense There were other human beings through that lense sharing stories over the digital campfire. Y’know Jak, I think we might have found something more interesting that controlled by the web (Laughing) I forgot to mention it’s my birthday And naturally, the internet made me eat a pickle instead and throw away my birthday cake slice by slice. (I hate pickles) Jokes on them. They didn’t say how large the slices have to be. 11 hours to go. Let’s knockout some more tasks. Play Virtual Reality Perform Shrek 1 “yes well actually, that would be a giant. Now Ogres? Oh they’re much worse.” Take a break. Thank god. These next two morning tasks worked my brain, which was a nice change. It’s about 7:18am. We can’t make it too complicated, I only have 45 minutes. We gotta keep it simple. I like to call this game “Cool Beans” They’ve made em taste pretty good. It’s time for the sketch challenge. We’re all just POV machines aren’t we? Viewing our perspective, within this experience. Alright. Oh yes! That was the longest one. Back in the early days before Steam & VR We would go into HTML5 and Flash websites That had hundreds of free games video games. A student could slip under the watchful eye of a teacher by heading to a “100% educational website” Called CoolMathGames.com I gotta call my mom. As a Gen-Z’er I’ve grown up with the internet. And the internet has grown up with me. They say “blink ten times” It’s a weird beast. One that distracts you. One that guides you. It makes you angry, or it can make you happy. Through all of the technological white-noise There can be memories, moments made that 50 years ago, would have been impossible. “A computer is built with electronic components” “Folks.” I’m wrapping it up.” And I for one Am proud to be apart of the generation that will say Banana. As we watch through a screen known as the world wide web. Much peace. And hey- I’ll see ya- in- The Metaverse.