How to introduce yourself | Kevin Bahler | TEDxLehighRiver

How to introduce yourself | Kevin Bahler | TEDxLehighRiver


Translator: Manh Cao
Reviewer: Denise RQ Thank you. Hello, my name is Kevin Bahler. I am the grant writer
for Allentown Symphony Association. I always find that
a strange way to introduce myself. It’s not that I don’t like my job –
I’m very proud of it – but why is that our only introduction? When I was five,
I have lots of introductions. “Hi! My name is Kevin,
and my favorite color is green.” “Hi! My name is Kevin,
and I have a cat named Tiger.” “Hi! My name is Kevin,
and I love finger-painting!” Admittedly, that last one
was kind of playing it safe because, let’s be honest,
who doesn’t love finger-painting? But I didn’t pick it because it was safe, I picked it because I was always honest and upfront
about who I was and what I loved. When I was in elementary school, I changed my introductions
to match my newest interests. “Hi, my name is Kevin,
and I like watching Power Rangers.” “Hi, my name is Kevin,
and I do the martial art Aikido.” “Hi, my name is Kevin,
and my favorite food is quiche.” Yes, I was a very weird boy,
and I admit it. But there reaches an age when being honest and open about yourself is the social equivalent of getting
“kick me” tattooed across your forehead. So as I got older,
I slowly picked the safer options. By the time I was in high school, I had changed my introductions
to match what was normal. “Hey, I’m Kevin,
and I like watching The Simpsons.” “Hey, I’m Kevin,
and I like eating corn-pops.” I didn’t even tell people
I did martial arts. And it’s not I ever lied about myself, I just told people the parts of me
they expected to hear. How come? Well, in case you don’t remember
high school very well, you need to fit in. And whether you want to fit in
with the popular kids or if you want to fit in
with a counterculture, If you want to have any friends, you need to have something
in common with somebody. And the safer your introduction,
the more likely you are to connect. So I figured out
how to say the right things and I survived high school
without being ostracized as a “quiche-gobbling wannabe Ninja,” and that was a victory. But when graduation day came,
I was so excited for college. This was a place where people
paid the money to learn. It had to be filled with
incredibly passionate people, right? Yeah, guess how wrong I was;
I’ll give you a hint. It was a lot. It turns out that passionate or not,
everybody on campus had one introduction. “Hey, I’m Kevin, and my major is …,” and nobody cared what your major was. It was just the only
allowable introduction. But you know why? Because everybody had one. It was this way
to kind of define yourself, but always within the safety
of the established programs. I have to admit: I have not always been the charming, charismatic,
sharp-dressed man you see before you. In fact, I used to be a huge nerd
that would do anything to have friends. So when I was in college,
I mastered the safe introduction, and I mastered the safe conversation,
and I mastered the safe friendship. And you know what?
Safe friends are boring! We didn’t do anything. We sat in our dorms,
complained about teachers and homework, and that was ‘hanging out.’ By the time I was in junior year, I had more ‘friends’
than I had time to spend with them. And I wasn’t even enjoying myself. When I realized this,
it pushed me over the tipping point, and I finally stopped
caring about fitting in, and I started caring about being happy. So instead of being safe,
I started being honest. “Hi, I’m Kevin, and I’m fascinated
by chemistry and physics.” “Hi, my name is Kevin,
and my favorite band ever is Muse.” “Hi, my name is Kevin,
and I love finger-painting!” You don’t grow out of it, you don’t. And the funny thing about
allowing myself to just be me is that all those boring people
stopped wanting to hang out with me because I wasn’t safe. And all the people
who stuck around were awesome! These were people who did things:
we hiked, we swam, we practiced martial arts together, we could discuss anything from black holes to stand up comedians,
from Wittgenstein to Winnie The Pooh, and all the while, we were laughing. And it is so easy to get lost
in having a good time. So I made sure to remind myself
of one simple fact: I would never have my true friends if I wasn’t willing to be rejected
by everybody else. So when I graduated college,
I was ready to enter the real world. I’d learned to let go
of the safety of conformity, and I was ready to meet
other self-actualized adults. And guess how many I met. Yeah, about the same as you. It turns out that it was
just the same introduction from college, only now, with wore a suit, or more often, a name tag. “Hello, my name is meaningless,
and I am my job.” Now, like I said at the beginning,
I am proud of my job. I’m privileged to be able
to earn my living by raising money for the symphony; but when I was nine,
I never introduced myself by saying, “Hi, my name is Kevin, and when I grow up,
I want to be a grant writer.” I wasn’t that weird of a kid. And even today, as an adult, there are things
that I’m far more passionate about than mailing out project budgets
and annual reports. And passion is what this is really about. I find it so mind-blowing
that so many people have so many passions and so badly want
to share them with the world, but they don’t for fear of being criticized
by people they don’t even care about. I’ll talk about my passion with anybody: some crowd at a party, the woman in line at the grocery store,
and you there in the back, whoever, because, if some stranger doesn’t think
old kung fu movies are totally awesome, so what? I’m probably never
going to see them again, and it doesn’t make me love them any less. But if that person is totally into
“The 36th Chamber of Shaolin,” then I just made a new best friend. So no matter what, I win. And so can you. The ultimate question here is
how do you introduce yourself?’ That’s tricky. You know me pretty well by now, but I’ve a good eight minutes
to tell you who I am. How do you convey all of that
in a single sentence And that’s something
you have to figure out for yourself, and I challenge you to do it. But I know that it helps
to have an example to inspire you so allow me to close with my introduction, “Hello, my name is Kevin Bahler,
and I love it when people are truly happy. Thank you. (Applause)

Danny Hutson

100 thoughts on “How to introduce yourself | Kevin Bahler | TEDxLehighRiver

  1. Nothing was learned by watching this video other than that this guy has a child complex. Not everything kids do was or is better than what adults do… But whatever, I guess Im my job only.

    The introduction "My name is blabla and I love it when people are truly happy" is so bad and cheesy that it made me cringe. But whatever.

  2. Your speech is so creative Kevin, not everyone has the courage to apply your advices, people now hide behind brands/family name and so on, we're unable to value the Human's spirit anymore , we need arguments to admire people we need materialistic evidences to love people and that's sad.

  3. This was awesome!! Great speech! I'm currently working on my into speech for Toastmasters and am having a world wind of trouble focusing on simplifying.

  4. THIS MAN HAS INSIGHT TO HUMAN INTERACTIONS FOR ANY TIME. FEELINGS ARE HARD FOR ADULTS TO WAKE UP AND MAKE NEW FRIENDS.

  5. Hi Kevin. it is absolutely well said. Your talk definitely inspired me how to introduce myself from now and on. I am also tired of introducing myself in a way to fit in. Cheers.

  6. Am I the only one who noticed that his introduction was his name and his job then he goes on to say that that's the most boring introduction ever.

    Just messing. Great message. I'm literally going to have my almost teenage children watch this video. Thank you

  7. Great speech. I totally agree that in our day and age, we are losing the authenticity and become a grey mass. Everyone is talking the same way, commenting the same way, lives life the same way, and very few dare to break free and pursue their uniqueness in spite of everything. Go Kevin!

  8. Thank you Kevin, I'm going to work on this from now on! We usually tend to respond automatically, but we're in a real world crowded with real people

  9. This might have not been the greatest presentation, but I stayed awake to finish watching this one to the end. It was pretty interesting and a point well made, but yeah, tough crowd lol

  10. I think his speech was very well delivered. The audience was fine. I don’t think he was looking for laughs. His timing was perfect.

    Thanks for the great tips Kevin.

  11. This was an interesting speech. We should always introduce ourselves by saying what we are passionate about, yet we all mention our jobs and our position. It is a sort of comparison we quickly make between individuals we meet. We automatically view people a certain way dependant on how they make a living rather than how they spend their free time.

  12. Thanks a lot for this video! It helped me in becoming more loose with the challaenge of recording an application video for a new job.

  13. Great TED talk, I'm sure your speech get deep in people’s mind and definitely can change their lives, thanks for sharing

  14. Wow the audience sucks. A few of these jokes made me laugh out loud and it's not for anyone's benefit as I'm in my room in my pjs.

  15. Only Americans introduce them selfs with a title afterwards why not just hi I’m donna please to meet you then wait for them to ask you if they are interested as I could not care less what your title is

  16. 2019
    I come here because of my teacher (Kevin Bahler) .I’m his student at ACE ( Australia Center Education). He’s a good teacher. Teacher You’re Amazing !❤️

  17. If you listen closely, i mean really liaten closely you could hear the sound of people at 8:04🤔🤔🤔

  18. Following what makes you passionate always reaps in the best rewards and the friends that are passionate about the same things are a great echo of that.

  19. Hi Kevin, thanks a lot for sharing these advices and for doing it so honestly. This is so helpful.
    The key takeaways I understood are:

    • Don’t follow the standard and don’t tell people what they expect you to tell

    • You are pushed to feed in and to have something in common with somebody

    • And the safer is your presentation and the better it is: NO

    • How you introduce yourself is usually the weakest explanation of who you really are.

    • Instead of being by safe, now be honest, be yourself

    • Passion is what it is really about

    • Talk about your passion

    And by the way, Hi I m David, I like people and I like to help them. I m really passionate about human relations.

    Thanks again!

  20. Our teacher asked us to watch this vedio before we do our assignment, and I guess he/she wants us to have a different self-i troduction than others. Hi, my name is Jolie, and I am an exchange student. I love traveling the world and I love drinking latte.

  21. Nice context, presentation is a bit bumpy and could be done better BUT HEY, nobody is perfect :-). just go on and send your idea to the world 😉

  22. Love this! Love your point about how our introductions change over time to become less passionate. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. Cheers!

  23. Hi. I'm Pierre. I love connecting new ideas and people together to innovate, inspire and improve our world. Kevin, I'm not into Kung fu movies, but you are aware enough to clean your lens on the world and take a fresh look. You ticked the "inspire, innovate and improve" boxes nicely. Congratulations on your talk.

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