Cobra Kai Ep 3 – “Esqueleto”

Cobra Kai Ep 3 – “Esqueleto”

( rock music ) ♪ ♪ ( muffled rock music ) ♪ ♪ ( grunting ) ♪ ♪ ( knocking on door ) Miguel? I’ll be right there.
Almost finished. ( grunting ) Mira quién llegó. Hey, guys. Mmm, it smells good in here. – Hice pollo en pipian.
– Ay, gracias, mamá. I’m sorry I’m late again. Things are crazy
at the hospital. It’s okay,
you’re short-staffed. But we saved you some food. So, did you decide
what you’re going as for the Halloween dance? Well,
I was thinking Deadpool, but the costume’s
a little pricey. Well, how much is it? Oh, it doesn’t
have to be Deadpool. You want a Deadpool costume? We’ll make you
a Deadpool costume. ( laughs ) – Oh, Miggy.
– Mm-hmm? What happened to your hand? Um… ( rock music ) What? ♪ ♪ Ah, shit. ♪ ♪ Hey, you don’t happen
to have any friends who wanna learn
karate, do you? Oh, what am I saying?
You don’t have any friends. Sorry. Hey, Sensei, when am I gonna
learn to do some kicking? I was watching
this YouTube video of this guy breaking boards
and it looked badass. Yeah, no shit.
Kicking is badass. But you’re not ready. Besides, if I don’t get
more students in here, I’m not gonna be able
to teach you anything. You’ve thought about
advertising, right? Yeah, duh.
‘Course. Okay, I gotta run
into the office. Apparently your cousin Louie
didn’t show up again. – So we’re short-staffed.
– Okay. I know that your mother said
that he cleaned up his act, but it’s just not working out. Yesterday I caught him
sticking his bare hands in the popcorn machine.
It’s disgusting. Mm-hmm. You know, Louie opened an underground
casino in the break room. Yeah. Wait, what? Sam’s gonna be fine. We met Kyler. Outside of wasting
a few bucks worth of tuna, he seemed harmless. Yeah, I’ve known plenty
of guys that seemed harmless that were real pieces of crap
behind the scenes. Come on, you’re really gonna
trust that Cobra guy over your own daughter? Louie: I say you show
this punk who’s boss. The next time he’s around,
you corner him, and you whisper in his ear, “If you get her pregnant, “you’re the one that’s
getting the abortion.” What the hell
are you even talking about? “Jungle Fever.”
The movie. John Turturro says that to,
uh–what’s his name? The black guy
with the tax problems, kills all the vampires.
Blade! I appreciate
the parental advice, Louie, but I don’t think
threatening a teenager is the go-to move here, okay? Exactly, you’re gonna drive
Sam right into this guy’s arms. Trust me, I date girls
with daddy issues. They’re the worst. – And the best.
– Louie: Okay, then. Maybe you should
keep an eye on him. – What do you mean, like spy?
– Yeah. Everything you need to know
is in this thing right here. All you need to do
is get her pass code. No, Daniel,
don’t listen to him. This is how porn stars
are created. We’re already in the Valley,
she only has to drive five minutes
to audition for Vixen Video. – Vixen Video, where is that?
– It’s on Magnolia. Guys, it’s my daughter here. I’m just gonna talk to Sam,
let her live her life. That’s the best I can do. ( school bell rings ) Blatt: Cyberbullying
is no laughing matter. Sending a cruel message
to someone online can be just as hurtful
as saying it to their face. I’m not gonna name names,
but the other day a mother called me up
because her son was crying after some kids online made fun
of his facial deformity. – The kid right there!
– The kid with the weird lip. But today, our goal here
is to make this school a safe space
for all students. You know, if you’re sick
of getting bullied, my karate dojo’s looking
for recruits. Yeah, right,
you hear that, Eli? A little karate training
and you’re gonna kick some major ass. I’m serious, Demetri,
all right? My sensei’s the real deal,
and I’m sure I could get you both discounts. As enticing as that sounds, I think we’d rather spend
our afternoons playing Crucible Control
than getting hit in the face. Blatt: Oh, and one last thing. While we’re all looking forward
to the Halloween dance, let’s make sure our costumes
are culturally sensitive. For example,
instead of “sexy nurse,” maybe try “gender-neutral
hospital employee.” – ( laughter )
– Instead of a geisha… Hey, I got a great idea
for our costumes this year. – Um…
– I was thinking… I go as sodium,
and you go as chloride. And when people ask
what we are, we do this. What is that, some dumb
inside joke you guys have? I mean,
it’s not really “inside.” Sodium chloride is table salt. Yeah, I was kidding. We actually decided to go
as Laker girls. Oh. But maybe we can order another. They’re one-size-fits-all, which suddenly seems
like false advertising. – ( snorts )
– Mm. I just need you
to bring attention to the dojo. All right? I want everybody
to see this sign. Do you want me to flash
my bits? That’ll cost you extra. No, that’s the opposite
of what I want. Nobody wants to see your bits. Just take the sign,
hold it up in the air, and spin it around, all right? Do that all day,
and you’ll get your money. Well, I want meth
and a burrito. You can spend it
on whatever you want. That’s how money works. Just do your job,
spin it around. I’ll be back later,
you got it? – Got it.
– Hold the sign up. ( upbeat rock music ) ♪ ♪ Hey, how’re you doing? It’s never too late
to learn how to kick ass. ♪ ♪ What’s up, fellas?
Here you go, one for you. ♪ ♪ ( laughter ) Hey, bro-hams. Wanna score those hot babes? Try karate. Kicks get chicks. Well, we were just gonna
go talk to ’em, but, uh, yeah, you know, maybe taking
karate lessons from a stranger in the park
is a better strategy, right? ( laughter ) Nice headband, bro-ham. ( somber rock music ) man: Outside, outside. ♪ ♪ – Daniel: Sam?
– ( water running ) Hey, Sam, I wanted to… Sam: I’m in the shower.
I’ll be out in a minute. ( computer dings ) ( mischievous
percussive music ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ( computer dings ) Daniel: Something big? – What’re you doing?
– Huh? Oh, I was having trouble
with my Wi-Fi. I wanted to see if Sam was too
or it was just my phone, but… I got it working now,
so we’re all good. Have you thought about
what you want for dinner? I’m thinking about making
my broccoli rabe. Is “Shark Tank” on tonight? ( calm rock music ) ♪ ♪ Hey, Sensei, you told me
to be here at 5:00, right? Yeah, but today’s
training’s cancelled. What? Why? ‘Cause I said so. Wait, Sensei, there’s something
that I wanna show you. Look, I’m really not
in the mood. Miguel: But I think
you’ll like it. It’s a Cobra Kai webpage,
right? I made it in study hall.
Click on the snake. Miguel: Okay,
this is the sign-in page. Now, I was thinking,
maybe we can make an app where you track your progress, get a social media
campaign going, get it out
to the whole school. The possibilities are endless. – ( rock music ringtone )
– Oh. That was my mom.
I’ll call her back later. – Hey, was that just–
– Ratt? – Awesome, right?
– Yeah. I went online
and looked up Guns N’ Roses and ended up going on this
whole ’80s rock rabbit hole. That shit is dope. All right, meet me at the high school
at midnight. – Don’t be late.
– W-what for? You wanna learn
how to kick ass? First you gotta learn
how to kick. ( upbeat electronic music ) I mean, I feel bad for Aisha,
but at the same time, I don’t wanna dress up
as a molecular compound. No, I totally get it. But hey, just because you guys
aren’t wearing the same costume doesn’t mean you can’t hang out
at the dance together. Mm, speaking of the dance,
I got an email from the school. They’re looking for chaperones. – They seem pretty desperate.
– Yeah, no kidding. Who wants to spend their
Friday night in a sweaty gym? Well, you’re off the hook,
I said I’d do it. ( fork clangs ) Look, come on. Counselor Blatt and I
go way back. I couldn’t leave her hangin’. – Mom.
– ( exhales heavily ) Come on, Daniel. Would you want
one of your parents at your high school dance? My mom drove me on dates, okay? Yeah? And how’d that go? – This is so not fair.
– You won’t even notice me. – I’ll be a ghost.
– Ghosts are lame. Yeah, I’m not talking
about a costume, it’s just an expression. Just promise me
you won’t embarrass me. I promise. Miguel: Sensei, what are we
doing here at midnight? Are you sure
we’re supposed to be here? Yeah, don’t worry,
my buddy’s the night janitor. Okay. All right,
let me see your hands. Here you go. Hey.
( stammers ) What’re you doing? When you’re in a fight,
your first instinct is to use your hands, right? You gotta unlearn that. And think with your legs. Uh, how do I think
with my legs? Well, you just, uh… Oh! ( tense music ) Use those legs,
kick your way out. ♪ ♪ ( air bubbling ) Shit. I’m drowning. Drowning is for pussies,
all right? Don’t be a pussy.
Use your legs. ( gasps ) ♪ ♪ Probably should’ve asked him
if he knew how to swim. ♪ ♪ Please.
Not again, I’ll die. Cobra Kai never die.
Say it. Cobra Kai never die. Say it like your life
depends on it. Cobra Kai never dies! Now, I’m not gonna help you
this time, all right? All right, you have all the
power in your legs you need. Use it to kick your way up. – Do you understand?
– Yes, Sensei. ♪ ♪ Come on, come on. ♪ ♪ Come on, come on. ♪ ♪ Yes, that’s it!
Keep kicking. ( upbeat rock music ) – Huh!
– Harder. Come on, princess. Huh, hyah!
Huh! – Harder.
– Hyah! ♪ ♪ Keep that leg up, like a man! – Huh!
– Hyah! ♪ ♪ Kick your enemy in the face. No mercy. Three minutes, keep going. ♪ ♪ ( grunting ) Yeah! That’s it. Ten minutes! man: Hey, what the hell
are you doing? Oh, shit.
We gotta go, we gotta go. You’re not allowed in here! – I thought you knew this guy!
– Of course not, I lied. – Aww!
– Run! I wish I could show my mom
what I did to those boards, but if she knew where I was
right now, she would kill me. Ugh. – What’s wrong with you?
– Nothing. Put your costume on. I’m driving you to that dance, and we’re gonna pick up
some more students. What the hell is that? This is my Halloween costume. My ya-ya made it.
It started off as Deadpool. Then I think it was Spider-Man,
and then it just kinda became some generic superhero. Yeah, a poor one at that. – You’re Poor-Man.
– Yeah. Well, I can’t let you
go out like that. We have a reputation to uphold. What do you suggest? ( electronic dance music ) ♪ ♪ ( blood-curdling scream ) ♪ ♪ Oh, skeleton.
Classic. Nice. Thanks.
I like your sorcerer costume. Sorcerer? Please. – I’m a necromancer.
– What? Didn’t you see “The Amulet”? So are you a regular doctor,
or– Plastic surgeon.
I fix lips. Nice. All right, y’all,
we’re ’bout to switch it up. ♪ ♪ Thanks for reaching out
to chaperone. That was so kind of you. Well, I just wanna make sure the kids are having
a good night. Aww. ♪ ♪ ( phone chimes ) ♪ ♪ Hey, guys, check out
this rad Internet site. W-W-W, period,
Cobra Kai, period, C-O-M, all lowercase. Uh, thanks? ♪ ♪ Hey, just–
I’ll be right back. Okay. – Hey.
– Hey. I like your costume. Thanks, it, uh, doesn’t really work
without the chloride. I don’t know,
sodium’s pretty badass. It’s the silent killer. ( chuckles ) – Hey, look, I–
– It’s okay. I’d rather go as sexy
than funny too, if I had that option. Don’t say that. Hey, Sam, come over,
we’re gonna go live. – Get your ass over here.
– One second. Can we make plans
to hang out soon? It’s been way too long. I’d love that. Stay salty, my friend. ♪ ♪ – Hurry up.
– Come on, let’s go. ♪ ♪ – Punch?
– Oh, hey, thanks. I was kinda hoping
you would show up in costume. Maybe a karate gi? No, oh, God, I haven’t worn
one of those in a while. You know, I still can’t believe
you and Ali broke up after high school. Things change. ( tense music ) Sometimes. ♪ ♪ ( groans ) ( dance music ) Hold on a sec. ♪ ♪ ( muffled dance music ) ♪ ♪ What do you think you’re doing? Promoting my business. Why don’t you try
minding yours? Minding mine?
Y-you… You know what?
Look, this is– this is ridiculous, okay? We can both be adults here. I just don’t know why you’d
ever wanna bring back Cobra Kai after what your sensei
did to you. ‘Cause I’m not Kreese.
And the lessons worked. Strike first, no mercy.
Real good lessons. If you think I’m gonna
let you fill these kids’ heads with that garbage,
you’re nuts, man. Yeah, is that why
you’re following me around? I’m not following you around.
I’m here to– ( Sam giggling )
Kyler, where are we going? ( Kyler chuckling )
You’ll see. You know, you gotta get
off school property, okay? Listen, y-you can’t be here. I’m serious. I know you’re serious.
( laughs ) ( dance music ) ( slurping ) Okay, are we ready? Miguel: Let’s ask
the Dragon Queens to dance. Demetri: Slow your roll,
we got time. Miguel: No, no… Shit. We just lost one to Doctor Who. I have to go to the bathroom. Yeah, me too. That punch is going
right through me. ♪ ♪ Yasmine: Oh, my God,
how pathetic. Yasmine: She’s like a pig
at a trough. ♪ ♪ So, what did you wanna show me? Um, it’s in my pocket.
Can you help me with the belt? Yeah. Sam: It’s so hard.
Kyler: Almost, right? All right, hey,
that’s enough, come on. Dad, what are you doing? No, no, no,
you don’t understand. No, I understand plenty, okay? I knew there was
something off about you when you wouldn’t eat the toro. Dad, you said
you wouldn’t embarrass me. Sam, trust me,
this guy’s bad news, okay? I was gonna give her this. Uh, this, uh,
this was my grandma’s, and I wanted to give it to Sam. ♪ ♪ – Daniel: Sam.
– Don’t talk to me. Sam! S… ♪ ♪ Excuse me. Hey, can we get out of here,
please? Not yet.
Wait for it. ( phones chiming ) ♪ ♪ ( phone dings ) ( laughter ) – girl: We got it too!
– ( girl laughing ) ( laughter ) ♪ ♪ boy: Piggy, piggy! boy: Cheeto pig! ♪ ♪ First high school dance
in the books, and we didn’t even make
an attempt. Well, statistically speaking,
zero for zero is better than zero for one,
so it could’ve been worse. ( urinals flush ) ( door opens ) Kyler: Yo, so frustrated, man. I was just about to give her
the bracelet. Like that cheap one you gave
to that East Valley slut? Yeah, it worked on her,
so might as well try it again. But Sam’s dad
had to ruin everything. I’m sorry, dude, you had her
in the palm of your dick. Oh! ( tense music ) Oh, shit. ♪ ♪ You better watch out, ‘Rhea. That bum’s not here
to save you this time. Yeah, he’s not a bum,
he’s my sensei. ( laughs )
Watch out, guys. ‘Rhea knows karate now. ( mocks martial arts
vocalizations ) ( laughter ) ( grunts ) Yeah! ( laughter ) Get him!
You’re gonna pay! Oh, shit! ( groans ) Grab him. Grab him.
Get him! No, no, let me go! Ah! Pick him up. ♪ ♪ – Come on, Ky! Get him!
– You’re a dead man. Please!
No, no, no! – Pound him, Ky.
– Ah! Ah! Ah! – ( laughs )
– ( groans ) ( guitar music ) ♪ ♪ boy: Whoo!
That was brutal, Ky. – You broke ‘Rhea off!
– Yeah, man! – Whoo-hoo!
– ( chatters indistinctly ) boy: He had it comin’. ♪ When everything
has turned to black ♪ ♪ You don’t know where to go ♪ ♪ You need something
to justify your soul ♪ Why don’t you tell me
who did this? It’s not Sensei Lawrence’s
fault. No more karate. If you knew him,
you’d see he’s a great man! There is no dojo. I’m closing it up. ( phone rings ) – Hey, hon.
– I just wanted to brace you for the billboard. – Mother…
– ( phone rings ) Jenkins: Your note said
he’d be gone two weeks, and it’s been almost a month. What, are you saying Robby’s
been out of school for a month? You gave up on day one. Well, I’m here now. It’s too late, Johnny. What, you looking
at that karate? No. It’s my dad.

Danny Hutson

30 thoughts on “Cobra Kai Ep 3 – “Esqueleto”

  1. I honestly don’t like the cobra kai dojo Daniel is right cobra kai is wrong he’s teaching them to be violent and have no mercy

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