6 Magazines You Won’t Believe Exist

If it exists, it probably has a magazine. Let’s talk about that. ♪ (theme music) ♪ – Good Mythical Morning!
– For reasons I’m not yet quite clear on, we were featured in a German ‘Glamour’
magazine. – That’s me right there!
– There we are. That’s me, that’s Link with his old hair, and then that’s Louis
over there. It’s all in German, so I don’t know what it says. But it probably says,
“Man, that guy needs to change his – haircut.” But you took care of that!
– Boom, I did it! ‘Cause it’s Glamour. Uh, not a joke.
That’s not a joke. But there are a lot of magazines out there that you might think
are jokes, and we’re going to play a game today try to figure out — Link, how well
do you know the magazine world? – Alright, let’s do it.
– I like to call it: ♪ (disco music) ♪
“Is Link Keen on the Magazine Scene?” Link, here’s what’s at stake today. If you
get six out of ten of these correct, you just tell me whether they’re — Are you
okay? Yeah, I just figured I’d do something
while you were telling me about the – Or you could listen, that would be —
– the game. – The thing that I would say is to listen.
– I was listening. I can do this and listen. If you get six out of ten right, you win – a magazine subscription!
– What?! To what? To one of the magazines that is real on
here. – Okay.
– Okay, lets start with “Spudman.” Spudman is the national magazine for potato
growers, packers, shippers, and – processors. “Spudman.”
– It sounds like a comic book. “I’ve got an idea for a comic book called
‘Mr. Potato Head.'” “Well, that’s taken.” – “Okay, then ‘Spudman.’
– Yeah! Um, so right off the bat, um… this is
false. There is a magazine for that, but – that’s not what it’s called.
– You’re wrong, Link! (buzzer sound)
– Spudman is real and also sexist. I think it should be “Spudpeople” or “Spudperson,”
personally, but it is real… – Really?
– …and a recent article is titled “Mars Needs Tubers,” where they dig deep to the
root of the film “The Martian.” Here’s a quote from the article: “All in all, I
have to give the filmmaker a “D” for his – handling of potato dormancy issues.
– (both laugh, crew laughs) – Wow, there’s — they — people care.
– That’s real. – Potato people care about potato things.
– Here you go: “Emu Today & Tomorrow.” This is the emu industry’s leading
agriculture trade magazine since 1989. It’s not “E-moo” it’s “eem-YOU.” Like
“pew.” – “Emu Today, Gone Tomorrow”?
– Mhmm… – No, I didn’t — no.
– (crew laughs) No, no, no, not “Gone Tomorrow,”
“Emu Today & Tomorrow.” – Oh, so it doesn’t die.
– It’s like what’s happening in the emu – industry now
– Now, this is, this is… – and in the future.
– Alright, this is for reals. It is real, Link!
(ding noise) (clapping)
Here’s an article from a recent issue: – “What’s on the menu?: Emu Meat.”
– Yeah, that’s pretty obvious. – Yeah, that’s the answer.
– Yeah, I mean… That’s always on the menu for emu
farmers. – Okay.
– It’s apparently a lo-lo-lot like – beef, but leaner.
– Lalalalalalala. I almost said cleaner. I almost said
cleaner, but… – Okay. Alright, so I’m one for two.
– but they’re a bird, Link. – Emu is a bird?
– It’s a big bird, but it’s like beef! – Huh.
– How ’bout this one? “Matryoshka Collector:” a monthly magazine filled with
handmade Matryoshka dolls. – That’s a Russian nesting doll.
– Hm. Created by artists from around the
world! – Well…
– Matryoshka Collector. – they’re collector’s items, uh…
– Real or fake? they’re a long held artform. Hm. I’m
gonna say this is — I’m gonna say this is – fake. But I think it — I dunno.
– You’re on a roll, Link! It is fake! – Fake!
(ding noise) But if it were real, issue 66 would have
had an article called, “The Shocking Surgery to Turn One Family Into an Actual
Set of Matryoshka Dolls.” – Eww!
– Oh, wow. – That’s dark.
– You don’t wanna be the little one in – that family!
(both laugh) – Really, you don’t wanna be any of ’em.
– No, you don’t. You don’t wanna be the big one or the
little one. Nope. Nope. Well, I’d wanna be the big
one. The little one actually doesn’t have to
have any surgery. He’s just put in there. So I do wanna be the little one in the
Matryoshka family! But the views aren’t great from in there. No, they’re not. At the belly button.
(pop sound) “Portable Restroom Operators.”
PRO — it’s an acronym — magazine. PRO magazine. PRO serves owners and managers of
businesses that rent and service portable – restrooms and related items.
– Porta-john… weekly? Is it monthly? – What is it?
– Portable Restroom Operators. I don’t – know how often it publishes.
– It seems like this would be a pamphlet. Or like an internet forum. But like a
full-blown glossy magazine, with just – porta-johns on the cover?
– (coughs) – I can’t see that happening, man. False!
– You’re wrong, Link, it’s real. (buzzer sound)
– It’s real?! And it is probably the only publication in
existence that features a full-page – advertisement for urinal cakes.
– (laughs) – Don’t ask for those at the bakery, kids.
– Mm. Urinal cakes. I’ve never been – tempted to bite one of those.
– I don’t really ever call ’em “cakes.” I – don’t wanna call ’em cakes.
– Do you aim for ’em? Or do you… – Oh yeah, I tear ’em apart.
– Really? – Like a bullseye.
– (laughing) You try to… – I turn ’em into doughnuts.
– You bore tunnels? – “I turn urinal cakes into doughnuts.”
– (laughs) – Put that on a T-shirt.
– “Turnin’ urinal cakes into doughnuts…” – “since 1977!”
– “…one relief session at a time.” Okay. “Muggle-Born,” the unofficial Harry
Potter… – Harry Potter.
– …fan magazine. – Mmhm.
– Non-licensed, fan-centric, bi-monthly Harry Potter magazine, including: fan
fiction, fan-created artwork, and cosplay. – Yes, cosplay. Yeah…
– That’s not “COSE-play,” it’s “COS-play.” …I know this one to be true, because
I subscribe to it. It is true. – We made that one up, Link.
(buzzer sound) – We made it up.
– I made up that I subscribe to it. – But if it were real…
– It should be real! I mean if any of – these so far should be real…
– Well, if it were real, it would have a whole section of fan selfies with the dude
who played Hurley from Lost being mistaken – as the guy who played Hagrid.
– (laughs) You know that happens to him all the time,
he’s like — – It does.
– He probably just goes with it now. Because Lost is so forgotten at this
point, he’s like, “Yeah, I’m that guy.” – Ridin’ the Hagrid train.
– “Yeah, that’s me. Wanna see me do my – impersonation?”
– No? – No — I’m not — not me…
– What’s…? – …I’m not gonna do it…
– Okay. – I mean he probably says that.
– He does, yeah. I’ve heard him say it. – Shoulda been real. Hm.
– You’ve gotten two right, Link, you’ve gotta get four more right to get that
subscription. – Alright.
– “Stained Glass Quarterly.” Stained Glass Quarterly features full-color articles
about historical and contemporary installations that will show you what
others in the field are doing. – Why would —
– And when I talk about the field, I mean – the stained glass field!
– I would hope that they’re full-color. Yeah, ’cause it would really suck if it
wasn’t, yeah. Y’know, if it was a black and white
magazine of stained glass windows… – It’d be like, “Uhhh… cancel.”
– Mhm. Yeah. – I’d cancel the s–
– Oh, you’d cancel the subscription. (crew laughs)
– Um, mm, I think that the subscriber-base is waning for this one, but I do think
that it exists. You’re right, Link, it is real!
(ding noise) I wasn’t gonna let you change your answer,
’cause you got there so fast, I was like, – “Nope! He’s gotta get it.”
– It’s real. It’s real. I’m sayin’ this – one’s real!
– It features an article, a recent – article: “Windows of Kansas City.”
– Beautiful there. – I wanna check that out.
– The stained glass in Kansas City is – amazing. Let’s keep rollin’ it!
– How ’bout this one? “Girls & Corpses” magazine A magazine featuring pictures of
beautiful, scantily-clad young beauties… – Okay.
– posing with hideous, decaying, – festering corpses!
– Ew! Man, there’s — man, there’s people – who’re into anything.
(crew laughs) – But I get this one.
– Man. (crew laughs)
Don’t say you get it, because… – I’m just sayin’ I rela–
– What d’you mean you get it? – I just, I understand.
– What do you — what d’you mean you understand?! So it’s real, A, and B, you
understand? You’re right, Link, it is real!
(ding noise) And B, yes, I understand.
(crew laughs) I’m signin’ up, because the volume 6,
winter “Medical Malpractice” issue features an article on how to do your own
autopsy. That’s what I’m interested in. – Not the girls. Or the corpses.
– Oh, okay. That’s how you understand. – Yeah, yeah.
– Who am I working with here?! If it was Girls “or” Corpses, I wouldn’t
be — (laughs) — but it’s Girls “and” – Corpses. It is real.
– You can always just focus on the girl. How ’bout this — similar theme — “Dads
& Dogs. – (laughs)
(crew laughs) – False.
– (laughing) A magazine with mostly female reader-base featuring photographs of hot
dads and the dogs they love. – False, false, false. Fake, made-up, sad!
– Link, actually, this one is fake… (ding noise)
– Whew! I’m so glad. …but you know what? If it were real,
you’d be familiar with it, because you and Jade were featured on the November 2013
issue! (crew laughs)
– Awww look at this! Dads & Dogs! – Look at that! “Link Neal and Jade”
– Awwwwww, awwwww. “Dad Bods & Doggie Paws.” You’re on a
roll, Link. – (laughs)
– Just gotta get one more right. “UGH Magazine.” “UGH Magazine.” UGH is an
outlet for millenial feminist angst and – enthusiasm.
– (laughs) “Millenial feminist angst and – enthusiasm?”
– Yeah. We got angst, and we got – enthusiasm.
– Nope, nope. They gotta make a choice. – It’s either angst or enthusiasm.
– No, you can have both. – Not in one magazine, you can’t.
– I feel like the women can have both, man. One magazine cannot contain the angst and
enthusiasm of millenial women. That’s why – this is false.
– You’re wrong, Link. (buzzer sound)
– Ooh! It’s real. Recent article includes, “Baby
Feminist: How Taylor Swift’s Feminist – Evolution is Exciting, But Not Endgame.”
(crew laughs) – What?
– Link, it all comes down to this one. – “Tummy Touchers.” (laughs)
(crew laughs) “TT,” as I like to call it, (laughing)
focuses on the world of competitive sumo – wrestling.
– I didn’t see that coming. (laughs) What? – Tummy Touchers. ‘Cause they… (clap)
– They don’t — – Yeah they do, they —
– Do they? – Yeah. I do, when I sumo.
– I thought it was the hands, not the – tummies.
– No, if they get close enough, their – tummies touch. (laughs)
(crew laughs) – (coughs)
– Man, this is… that would be — – Tummy Touchers.
– That would be so niche. And it wouldn’t – be called that. False!
– Really? You sure about this? – False, yes.
– You’re right, Link! (ding noise)
– Yes! (laughs) It is fake, and you win! However, I do
wanna say that the latest issue of Tummy Tuckers, if it — (laughs) “Tummy
Tuckers” — (crew laughs)
– That’s another magazine. – Tummy Touchers, if it were real…
– True. would be: “The Sumo Underground: A
Hard-Hitting Undercover Investigation Into the Sweaty Underbelly of Unregulated Sumo
Wrestling Taking Place All Around the Globe in Abandoned ‘Blockbuster Video’
Locations. – (crew laughs)
– “Sweaty Underbelly.” That’s what’s happening in those
locations, people. So what subscription do I get? Can I
choose “UGH?” Nope, but we got a subscription to
Portable Restroom Operators. – Okay!
– But it’s actually just on an iPad, but – you’re gonna check it out…
– Oh, it’s digital. in tablet form, ’cause it hasn’t
gotten here yet. Alright, thanks for playing along with me,
for liking, subscribing, and sharing the love that is this show with your loved
ones. You know what time it is. Hello, my name is Tuvia, and I am from
Jerusalem, Israel. And it’s time to spin the Wheel of
Mythicality. Who reads magazines anymore, when you
can be readin’ our tweets? We’re – “rhettandlink” on Twitter, hey!
– Lots of fun stuff being tweeted on a daily basis. Click through to Good
Mythical More, where I’m gonna become – intimately acquainted with…
– What? Oh no. – “Porta-John Magazine” in digital.
– Portable Restroom Operators magazine. – Magazine.
– You’re gonna love it! “Rhett is an amateur brain surgeon.” Oh,
wow, I’d like to see the root of that – haircut.
– So do you anesthetize me first? Or — You just lean against my sternum. That’s
how I do it here; I don’t have a chair. I am the chair, you just lean back. Okay,
I’m gonna need somethin’ sharp. – What was that motion you just did?
– Your glasses. Okay. I’m gonna be – digging.
– Oh! Ow! OW! ♪ (outro music) ♪
– I got one that’s probably not been done, ’cause I’m into paleontology? It looks
like dirt and you pee, and the dinosaur – bones get revealed.
– You become a “pee-leontologist!” (both laugh loudly)
– Boom! We got you!

Danny Hutson

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