10 Important Things You Don’t Know You Want

10 Important Things You Don’t Know You Want

hey this is Leo for actualised org and in this episode I’m going to be speaking about the ten things that you want that you really really want but that you have no clue that you want there is a category of things that you really want deep down inside but you’re not aware of now this is a really twisted and interesting phenomenon that this is happening within your mind there are things really really deep and advanced things that you might totally be unaware of or maybe you’ve heard about them once or twice in your life but they’re just like not on your radar screen and you’re out there pursuing totally different things now think about this I’m going to give you a list of all these I’m going to talk about this in a lot of depth but think about the the problems that this might create for you if what I’m saying is true if it was really the case that there were really deep things that you wanted but you weren’t aware of think about how many problems in your life this would create right because the things you’re pursuing usually you don’t question why you pursue them you don’t really question your wants and one of the most basic problems that I see most people who come to me for coaching or who just want to do some self-improvement work the problem that these people have is that they don’t even know what they want and so we have to spend a lot of time just working to find out what it is that you want and even after we figure that out which is a process in and of itself the things you come up with are still not really deep they’re not very genuine and they’re not really the things you want they’re the things you think you want and this is a big problem as you can see because when you’re doing self improvement or if you’re trying to accomplish anything in your life well how do you do it you do it based on your wants but if your wants you know the very first step you take is already misguided well that creates the possibility of you getting very far off track for where you should be in life and what I suggest to you is that that’s exactly what’s happened to you in your life you’re really far off track because these things that she really want you almost have no idea what they are and also when you hear them when I tell them to you in a minute here um it’s gonna sound it’s gonna sound to you like no leo you don’t understand I don’t really want these things I want what I want I want the things that I want not the things you’re telling me that I should want and that’s very tricky this is where we’re really getting into like the guts of how your mind works and how it tricks you how it deceives you so be very careful here this is an advanced topic if we just took someone off the street or if we took you and we gave you the old magic Genie lamp and we asked you you know what are the three wishes you would want in your life if you could get anything you wanted what were the three things that you would want that would really transform your life that would really make you happy really make you fulfilled that would be really meaningful to you hell we could even give you ten wishes what are the 10 things you would want in your life that would really make your life amazing and the tragedy of this is is that we if we took a person off the street and we we did this with them they would come up with all the wrong answers all the wrong answers the things that they would wish for these would all be wasted wishes they would wish for things that just would not give them the satisfaction that they thought it would give them why not well because this stuff is very counterintuitive because this demonstrates how much their mind is tricking them and how far off track it really are these things that you want but that you don’t know that you want you’ve been distracted from them for decades you’ve been so distracted from them that you’re probably not even aware that these things are possible and even if you are aware that these things are possible you have no idea how meaningful these things would be if they were given to you you completely discount the value of these things psychologically for you and your life you hold them much lower than some of the other things you want and those other things you want you hold them as much higher than you should and then of course there’s an additional problem is that even if you do know these things that are about to tell you you’re gonna still run into the problem of like well Leo how how do I get these things I don’t know how to get these things you’re talking about and that of course is a problem but I really want to focus on the Watts here right because if your wants are misguided that means your entire strategy you know I’m talking about being a strategic thinker if you’re trying to be a strategic thinker your whole strategy is based upon what you want so if what you want is wrong that means your tire strategy is wrong that means you can waste a decade of your life doing something that you shouldn’t be doing in the first place right because you have the wrong initial objective imagine if you were a general on a battlefield and your your desire was something very very misguided your desire was not to defeat the enemy but your desire was something like to go show off in front of the enemy right or your desire was to humiliate the enemy or your desire was to torture the enemy something like that if that was your military objective your entire strategy would be very different from just winning the battle you see so um you would be a crazy psychotic military strategist and that would probably get you killed very quickly because there’s not much room for showboating when it comes to life and death and war so but you know the same thing applies to your own life too to be good strategic thinker you have to first and foremost really question your wants your desires get very clear about them and make sure that they’re very very authentic and that they’re really going to lead you to where you want to go because they’re the starting point of everything else everything else branches off from this one point all right so enough belaboring that let’s give you the list here are the things that you want that you don’t know that you want firstly you want existence to feel magical again you want existence to feel magical again the way that it felt to you when you were first born when you were a baby or when you were a toddler if you can recall back to when you were like five six seven years old all of reality was magical to you all of it was beautiful even the stuff that was boring or ugly or something you didn’t like it was still magical to you it was fresh to you and then over the decades that magic was beaten out of you through a lot of bad social conditioning and simply by just becoming acclimated right acclimated to reality to the point where where you are now reality to you is very boring it’s very mundane you take it completely for granted you’re not even consciously connected to the fact that what you’re alive inside of is you’re inside this ball of magic everything that’s happening around you is pure magic but you’ve totally lost touch with this and even if right now you hear what I’m saying and you try to intellectually see what I’m saying like oh yeah Leo I can kind of sort of remember back to my past where it was that way and maybe I can kind of like conceptually try to force it now upon reality like I could try to be in the present moment right now but see you really can’t you can’t you can’t you don’t have the ability you can’t look upon reality with fresh eyes the eyes of a child you can’t do that but this is something you desperately want this is something that would come lately transform the quality of your life if you could get it but you have no idea how to get it you have no idea how to see the beauty of very simple things you have no idea of how to just look at a tree and see its pure beauty and its magic you have no idea how to look at the face of your girlfriend or boyfriend or your spouse and to see them the way you saw them the very first time that you saw them and fell in love with them you have no idea how to just take a cup of water that you drink in the morning or your cup of coffee and how to just sip that water as though you’re sipping water for the first time so that it feels magical to you imagine what your life would be like if you could get this ability back that would be powerful that would be profound wouldn’t that be something worth working towards if we’re talking about self-actualization goals self-improvement goals you know we have to ask ourselves what are the goals that are really truly worthwhile and what I’m suggesting to you is that this list that I’m giving you right now this is sort of the ultimate list this is the stuff that should be forefront forefront as you’re strategizing going forward and yet you’re probably hearing this list for the very first time in your life you’ve probably never thought about this before and even if you have you thought about it for a minute and then it slipped by you and you forgot about it and nothing happened nothing happened you’re not actually able to realize this it’s just words to you just ideas but we have to start somewhere so let’s just start with ideas and then we’ll see how strategic you can be in acquiring these things everything I’m telling you here on this list is acquirable so it’s doable the next thing you really want but that you have no idea that you want is you want things to be completely effortless in your life you want to wake up and just go through your day and you want everything just to flow just flows there’s no resistance there’s no fighting with yourself there’s no trying to convince yourself there’s no forcing or whipping yourself into a frenzy to get something done there’s no guilt there’s no rules it’s just like it’s effortless its flow it just happens naturally you want whatever you’re doing in your life to unfold seamlessly effortlessly naturally think about that think about how great your life would be if that was in place for you if you were able to realize that I think about how far away from that your day currently is your typical day how close is it to being completely effortless probably not very and yet maybe this is something that’s possible maybe this is something that you could work towards with self development another thing that you want that you have no idea that you want is you want to be authentic you want to act speak think and behave authentically spontaneously in an uninhibited fashion so uninhibited that we might almost say like you’re slightly intoxicated but not intoxicated with alcohol or some kind of drug but you’re intoxicated simply with kind of like the again the magic of life and just the playfulness of life right you’re playful in the way that you do everything because you’re doing it authentically and you’re very uninhibited right so you don’t have those fears in the back of your mind you don’t have those worries you don’t have you don’t have like reservations about all what are they going to think of me and what’s going to happen if this happens and all that all that typical stuff that happens in your mind none of that is happening you’re just behaving like out out out out like an extrovert you’re just behaving out and you’re not worrying about what’s going on inside your mind this is kind of spontaneous authentic behavior and you’re doing this in your relationships you’re doing this with work you’re doing this well you everything everything in your life from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed you’re just being authentic imagine that imagine what that would mean for you how significant that would be if you had that in your life if you were able to realize that and also consider how far away from that you are right now probably quite far and what’s interesting is that the way you go about being authentic is still inauthentic so there’s degrees of authenticity and what I’m talking about here is like the ultimate rock-bottom of authenticity so I’m not talking about being authentic as a way to manipulate others or to get something you want or to be authentic for some sort of neurotic reasons see a lot of people try to be authentic for neurotic reasons I mean really like authentic authentic not fake authentic authentic authentic and what is that you might ask well how do you distinguish the two well that’s tricky that’s tricky that’s something you could work towards I’m not here discussing with you how to actually get these things because before we can talk about how to get these things we first have to address the fact that you don’t want these things not really I mean these things sound nice while I’m telling them to you but you don’t really want these things these things are not at the forefront of your mind you want other stupid things like money or relationships or sex or success or knowledge you want these things you don’t want these things that I’m telling you I mean you do deep down but you don’t know see we’re simultaneously dealing with your authentic desires and your inauthentic desires and your inauthentic desires are in the way of your authentic desires so let’s not put the cart before the horse let’s not worry about how to get these things yet I’ll tell you how to get these things in the future and you know I’ve already shot episodes in the past that tell you how to get some of these things so don’t worry about that worry more about what you’re strategizing towards I want you to become aware that you’re not strategizing you’re not seriously strategizing towards these things that I’m listing right now you’re not so let’s keep going though uh the other thing you really want but don’t know that you want is you want a dispassionate mind a dispassionate mind what does this mean sounds like I’m telling you that you want to be a robot you want to be highly rational and mechanical and unemotional but that’s not what I’m telling you at all in fact that’s a complete bastardization of what I’m telling you a dispassionate mind is a mind that does not cling or need anything it’s detached but this does not mean it’s not emotional very different very different but what you want is you want this kind of dispassionate mind this kind of mind that treats everything in reality evenly we might also call this an economist mind a mind that has equanimity with everything with pleasure and with pain and with boredom and with the highs and the lows with the good and the bad and the ugly and everything right treats everything dispassionately now this is a very counterintuitive thing to want because what most people want what you probably want is you want the exact opposite of that when you think about it it’s like no Leo I actually want to be I want to be passionate I want to love the good stuff and I want to not want the bad stuff no but see that’s what you usually do that’s what everybody does that’s what the bum sitting on the street corner begging for money does what’s rare is to have a dispassionate mind that’s very rare and that’s something you actually deeply authentically are searching for but you don’t know yet this is what you’re searching for and you have no idea about how to acquire it in fact you fear it you worry about you worry about Leo if I have it a dispassionate mind what does that mean for my life you know will that mean I won’t love my kids or my my girlfriend or my boyfriend or my family or will that mean that I’ll just be a boring person with no personality Sal what you mean and and see that just that demonstrates to you that you haven’t really penetrated into what I’m saying it because that’s not what I mean another sub component of this point about dispassionate mind is that you want to be totally unattached from any ideology unattached from any ideology this means that you have no intellectual position to defend of any kind you have no scientific position to defend no historical position no religious position no spiritual position no political position no economic position just no intellectual positions at all you want to be positioned less with no beliefs to defend this means totally under Matic this means totally open-minded now you might think that you already have that but you don’t have that that takes some real serious deep work to get what you have is you have the opposite of that you have a bunch of pet theories and cosmologies and metaphysical ideas that you love to defend and you will fight you will waste hours of your life on forums and on internet chat rooms and with your friends talking and discussing and debating this as though it matter at all philosophy politics religion science evolution history you will fight over this like a child um what you really really want is you want to stop doing that but also you have no idea how to stop doing that and also some of your pet ideas are such pet ideas to you you love them so much that you’re not willing to give them up you’ll say leo yeah maybe maybe you got a point here but you know my notions of God you know I don’t wanna give those up and you know my notions about you know what we should do about about poverty and about the environment politically speaking I don’t want to give those up you know those are good notions and and my notions about science you know Leo science or rationality or mathematics or you know some philosophical principle you know these are very important I don’t want to give that up well that’s your problem you see that’s your foolishness that’s your foolishness you haven’t realized yet how how much suffering cling to all these ideologies creates for you and how it disconnects you from reality this can actually from reality another thing you really want but you have no idea that you want is you want to be fully sober fully sober what does this mean this means I don’t mean intoxicants here like chemicals and alcohol I mean you want to be so conscious and so aware that the best word I can come up for it is you’re lucid you’re lucid it’s as though you woke up in the middle of a dream and you realize that you’re dreaming but this happens not in your dreams but in reality right you’re so conscious that you’re lucid you’re so conscious that it’s as though like everything that’s happening around you is happening kind of in slow motion everything is very still and you’re looking through the world as though the world is mad at a glass this is a pretty powerful experience that one could have especially if you do a lot of consciousness work a lot of awareness work such as meditation the paws on a– self-inquiry and so forth you can have these kinds of experiences but um another way to phrase it is you basically just want to look upon reality without having a single thought about it so it doesn’t matter what’s happening in reality doesn’t matter where you are doesn’t matter who you’re with you just want to be wherever you are and just experience it with not a single thought not a single judgment not a single theory just total quiet but see you can’t do that because your mind won’t shut up your mind just keeps yep yep yep yep yep yep yep yep yep yep yep yep yep yep if you just yapping away yapping away and even when you try to silence that it just yaps more interest you have so you just you can’t stop yapping you try to silence this one you create another yapper now you got to yappers in your mind yep yep yep yep yep yep you got two of them you got double the yapping when you try to stop yapping then you can create three of them there’s no end to it because you don’t have control over your mind so that’s something you really want when and if you ever do experience reality without a single thought that will be so powerful to you that you will go like oh that’s what Leo was talking about oh my god this is what I was searching for my entire life and I didn’t know that this is what I was searching for that will happen to you with every item on this list that I’m talking about see at first if you’re very unconscious if you’re very underdeveloped what I’m talking about will sound silly stupid foolish ridiculous if you a little bit more developed a little bit more awareness than what I’m saying will sound like oh yeah leo these are these are good ideas how do I get them and then if you become really developed and you really start to tap into some of these things and you start to get a little taste of them here and there you’ll say oh my god this is what life is about I can’t believe no one’s told me about this before I can’t believe I’ve been wasting decades of my life with all these other things I don’t what are all these other things that I was that I was looking for like what the is this relationships what the sex money success like what the was I thinking that’s what will happen to you if you keep growing with me here on this journey but let’s continue another thing that you want but you don’t know that you want is you want to be nobody I love this you want to be nobody this is so counterintuitive you don’t want to be cool you don’t want to be this person you don’t wanna be the successful guy you don’t want to be the guy who’s who’s great with women you don’t want to be the woman who’s very creative and and it has a great family you don’t want any of this you don’t want to be associated with anything you want to have zero identity that’s what you really want but you don’t know that you think that self-development is about developing a greater nicer cooler hipper um more powerful identity you haven’t realized yet that the the goal of the game is to get rid of your identity so that you are literally a nobody you have no personal history you have no personal attachments to the past or the future you have no attachments to what you should behave like to what your personality is to who you are whether you’re a male or a female or an introvert or an extrovert or whether you’re good at math or you’re good at English or whether you’re a good student or whether you’re a good mechanic or whether you’re a nerdy person or whether you’re a hipster person or whether you’re gay or you’re straight or whether you’re a Republican or a Democrat or whether you’re religious or you’re atheistic or you’re scientific or you’re intelligent or you’re dumb or whatever kind of identity you’ve created for yourself that you believe is you you ultimately what you really want is you want to have none of that you want to completely drop it so that what remains is just a blank you want to be a blank you want to be a nobody the way that you were by the way if you can remember when you were a child when you were five years old you were basically a nobody you didn’t know very much about yourself you didn’t identify very much with anything about yourself you didn’t think you were smart or stupid you didn’t think you were even like male or female these things only came in later as artificial ideas that you picked up from your parents and from your friends and from school and all that kind of stuff right but in the beginning you didn’t have any of that you were just you were just a blank experiencing reality happening to it that’s what you were and that’s where you want to get back to but that’s so counterintuitive because you built up this entire identity structure and now anytime you even attempt to dismantle some piece of this identity it’s painful to you so when I tell you to become nobody to you it’s like oh my god that’s going to be scary and painful I don’t want to do that I love this part about myself and I love this part I mean surely oh yeah that part I don’t like I’ll get rid of that part and this part here you know I don’t like that part either I’ll get rid of that so I’m I’m down Lee I’m down for getting rid of the stuff I don’t like but the stuff that I like the stuff that’s really me I’m going to keep that stuff and what I’m telling you is know what you really want is you want to get rid of all of it especially all the great stuff about you very counter to it another thing you want but you don’t know that you want is you want Samadhi what is Samadhi Samadhi is a basically a Hindu term refers to a state or an experience where you merge with the object which you are observing or perceiving so literally it’s a state where you become the thing that you are observing so if you’re looking at a tree you can look at with such high concentration and such lucidity of mind that you realize that there is no such thing as a you looking at a tree but that there just is a tree and that that tree is you or an aspect of you this is not an intellectual endeavor this is not a belief system this is not an ideology this is a this is a direct experience so it’s an experience that’s as real as right now you sitting there and thinking that you are you you’re that body sitting there thinking listening to me so as natural as it feels to be you well it’ll feel just as natural to be the tree or not the tree but the moon not the moon but the the lake not the lake but the stone on the ground or if you’re listening to me me you’ll become me if you have a samadhi experience of me you will be me literally not metaphorically not as a belief but you will be me as a matter of fact so these Samadhi experiences you can develop yourself to have them I mean it takes a lot of concentration takes a lot of meditation takes a lot of development but you can develop your mind to the point where you have you smadi experience and these Samadhi experiences they come in in various degrees at first they start off very light then they become deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper and these Samadhi experiences feel amazing they feel amazing they feel more amazing than an orgasm or going out and partying with your friends or whatever you know thing that you really love to do a samadhi experience blows all that out of the water when you have one it’ll be like oh my god this is what I’ve been searching for my whole life and I didn’t even know this existed I’ve been missing out I can’t believe no one’s told me about this why didn’t nobody teach this to me well one of the reasons is because you’re so closed-minded that you’re you’re you’re going to resist anyone teaching it to you so as I teach it to you you already resist it another problem is that you don’t want to work to get it you’ll take it for free but you’re not going to work ahead of time you’re not going to strategize to actually grow yourself to get it so that’s why I don’t have it that’s why 99% of people in society have never experienced the samadhi experience rather sad considering that it’s one of the UM one of the most beautiful experiences you can have it live rather sad that you have not experienced it yet don’t you think another thing that you really want but you don’t know that you want is you want truth truth truth with a capital T now what that is is a mysterious thing hard to put into words so mmm if you haven’t listened to me before this your first time hearing about this kind of stuff then you probably will not come away knowing what I mean when I say truth but if you have been following me then you might kind of suspect what I mean by truth true that’s actually what’s true what’s actually real right what you want is truth independent of anything else truth at all costs that’s what you want that’s what you really want but you don’t know this you are lost pursuing survival and thriving and success that’s what you’re pursuing that’s what your life is about thriving comfort security success titillation that’s what your life is about your life is not about truth what you ultimately really want is you want a life that’s completely committed to truth but first problem is you have no idea what truth is second problem is you already believe you have the truth so when I tell this to you you’re like olio truth yeah of course yeah I acknowledge that I like truth and I want truth and truth is important and that’s why I already have it no no no you don’t understand what I mean by truth truth is something you you have no idea so imagine everything you know imagine everything you’ve ever experienced now classify all that as untruth that’s what you’ve got right now what truth is truth is like a question mark to you you have no idea what truth is and I’m not going to tell you because you have to discover for yourself but once you find it you’ll realize ah course of course yeah this is exactly what I’ve wanted my whole life if only I had this twenty years earlier oh man I wish I had this 20 years earlier but I’m glad I at least have it now that’s what you want and this truth is not a philosophy this truth is not a belief this truth is not an ideology remember we’re removing you away from ideologies so truth is not an ideology so what is truth well truth is what remains when you remove all the ideology this is something you can have it’s something that you deeply want but that you don’t know you want this truth will cure you of all the that you think you want once you have truth a lot of the false stuff that you want will just fall away it’ll become irrelevant but the one of the biggest problems you can have on your journey towards truth is well you’re going to set conditions upon truth you’re going to say like well yeah Leo I want truth but only if X Y Z you’re gonna set conditions upon it you give me like yeah I want truth you know leo but you know I’m not willing to leave my relationship to find truth and I’m not willing to quit my job and I’m not willing to sit down and meditate for an hour a day and I’m not willing to go to this to this retreat that you’re telling me to go to and I’m not willing to read 20 books that you’re telling me to read I’m not willing to do any of that stuff I will acquire truth my own way I’ll just sit back and I’ll just do some armchair philosophy and all arrive at truth and that will be my truth leo you don’t know what my truth is Leo that’s my truth ah no that’s that’s not what I mean by truth that’s a total bastardization of truth what I mean is actual truth truth through the capital T the truth that you have no idea about it all yet you wanted you really really want it but you have no idea that you want to get another thing that you want but you don’t know that you want is you want to be a benevolent force in the world a benevolent force in the world what does that mean that means you want to be a force of good but I don’t mean good in like the classical religious Christian sense I don’t mean in the sense of like good versus evil not in that sense this is a force of benevolent force what it really means is like you just want to be a force of good a force of compassion a force of giving a force of contribution like coming from a place of contribution to society and to humanity and to reality at large you want to be that kind of force now how do you be a force of benevolence well there’s a lot of different ways and for different people it’ll mean different things you know for some people it will mean being an artist and producing great art for other people it’ll mean helping out like actually going and helping out in a soup kitchen or something and for other people it’ll mean shooting self-help videos the way I do or for other people it’ll mean helping to teach others in the classroom or for others or living being a good doctor and helping to cure them of their broken leg or their giving them some surgery when they need it you know there’s a lot of different ways to be a benevolent force and basically what this connects to is my concept of life purpose so I have a whole course on life purpose if you’ve taken my course then that whole course is basically showing you how do you become a benevolent force in the way that is most authentic to you because this here is a very personal thing right and there’s a million different ways that you can be a benevolent force and only a handful of those ways will be right for you because you’re a unique individual right but you want to be this benevolent force and in fact you want to be a benevolent force to such a degree that you’re no longer working for yourself you’re no longer worrying about yourself you spend all your time working and worrying about how be a benevolent force for others or for the environment or you know whatever kind of impact you’re making in the world you become believable benevolent force to such a degree that your just life becomes an outpouring a gift giving just like benevolence pouring out of you at every one of your pores it just comes out and seeps out effortlessly just comes out and just kind of gives gives gives gives gives and it just it’s just like the love of giving in whatever your favorite mode of giving is that’s what you want but this is probably the exact opposite of what you’ve currently got cuz currently what you’re doing is you’re obsessing about how to take take take take take take take it’s all about taking how do I take and get what I what I need you know how do I take the money how do I take the fame how do I take the status how do I take the approval the love give it all to me how do I take everything how do I take the knowledge and information how do i hoard it all and keep it for myself and make myself better that’s what you’re currently doing but that’s not going to work that’s a far inferior goal to becoming a true benevolent force how do you become a benevolent force well um check out the life purpose course that will help you a lot but also I’ll talk more about in the future and the final thing that you want that you don’t know that you want is you want a simple natural lifestyle simple natural lifestyle what does this mean well it means that your current lifestyle is extremely complicated and polluted in many ways by a lot of unnecessary and unhealthy and kind of just distracting noise a lot of it comes from our culture television internet social media smartphones computers partying clubs drugs alcohol you know all this stuff shopping acquiring of possessions doing stuff always being busy in your life getting involved with relationships and and sex and all this this becomes very messy and pollute a source of pollution in your life um you know the hecticness of your work and how polluted your life becomes because you’re so focused on achievement climbing the corporate ladder or uh attaining some kind of prestige or status or reputation so you’re pouring all this energy into all this noise right your lifestyle you think that by doing more of this by filling your life with all this technology and all these gadgets and all this kind of stuff that your life is becoming enriched and that’s somehow you know it’s richer it’s more fun it’s more interesting and that’s that’s what life is about right um you don’t realize yet that actually uh the great life comes about when you pare away all those things right you become kind of like a ruthless editor of your life you cut away all that you get rid of it you just you distill down and you edit your life down it’s just something very very simple very basic more organic more natural less polluted less attached to kind of the tentacles of mainstream culture probably means eating healthier living healthier being out in nature more connecting with it more it means doing less and just being sitting and being and soaking in what life is it means making your lifestyle very simple it makes it means having a free and relaxed schedule where you’d have to be doing all this running around like a chicken with its head cut off all day long and then doing that Monday through Friday and even on the weekends just like pairing all of it down and just making your life very very simple almost as though like imagine if you lived on a deserted island Robinson Crusoe style just like you are trapped on a deserted island it’s a very small island there’s not a lot of stuff to do there there’s no amusement parks there’s no cellphones there’s no computers there’s no friends there’s no family there’s like nothing you don’t even have a pet this island is so deserted that you don’t even have like a dog or a cat you got nothing it’s just like you sitting on this island what do you do you eat you you wash yourself uh you just sit there and you live that’s what life is it’s just being you’re just being you’re being on an island right you go around hunting for food and just kind of like smelling the flowers and just enjoying the sunsets and then going to sleep on the beach and then you wake up the next morning you do it again it’s just like it seems like a very boring kind of life but remember remember the prior points that I said I said as the first point that your life I mean that reality becomes magical again right so don’t be scared off by this very simple natural sort of lifestyle because you’ve also got these other points working in your favor all of them come together as package and when life becomes magical to you every single moment then this kind of simple natural lifestyle becomes highly highly appealing you no longer need to fill the void with all these polluting distractions the way that you currently do so that’s the list those are the things that you want now notice that what you want is not raw pleasure these things I was talking about they’re not about pleasure it’s not hedonism counter-intuitively the pursuit of raw pleasure the attempt to maximize pleasure which we might call hedonism although that’s not what the word meant originally in the past but that’s what it means now this this notion of hedonism it doesn’t work right in backfires the human psyche is too calm x2 allow a hedonistic strategy to actually be the most advantageous doesn’t work that way notice that I said nothing about money sex relationships I mean I did talk about these things but I talk about them as as the things that you don’t really want so these are things you don’t want you don’t want money you don’t want sex you don’t want relationships yeah you don’t want to look good you don’t want to be taller you don’t want to be more handsome you don’t want success you don’t want status reputation and position these things are really irrelevant to you you don’t want physical objects you don’t want technology you don’t want gadgets you don’t want entertainment you don’t want movies and video games you don’t want better porn you don’t want more knowledge that’s a big trap more knowledge you don’t want that you don’t even want self-actualization ironically you don’t really want these things these things are all distractions from the core 10 things that I told you about here now the question is will you be wise enough to understand this communication because the tragedy is that you are so lost right now that you don’t even realize that you’re lost that’s how lost you are you’re so lost that you actually believe that you’re headed in the right direction that’s how lost you are it’s worse than being lost it’s being lost plus layer upon layer upon layer of denial and delusion that’s your current position and now you start to see a little bit about why true self development is so challenging because you would assume that it’s like oh Willy oh I watched one of your episodes and what you’re helping me to do leo is you’re helping me to achieve my goals but that’s not how I help you if I did that I would just drive you and enable your delusion Drive you deeper into your delusion what I need to do to really help you is to get you to realize that your goals are stupid that they’re childish immature and neurotic and that they are leading you in many cases in the exact opposite direction of where you should be going that’s how I can help you is to help you to start just to start the little taste of the truth of that notice that nobody ever talks about this nobody tells you this have you noticed this is very interesting in society nobody will just kind of stop you dead in your tracks and tell you what the are you doing this thing is not right for you like if you’re going to college nobody you can go to college for eight years getting a PhD degree you know from the very beginning to the very end eight years and nobody not even once will sit you down and say what the are you doing this is not what you should be doing nobody will ever do that for you including yourself most likely or if you’re at work and you started a business and you’re running this business and you know you’re earning millions of dollars nobody will ever come up to you say what the are you doing this is stupid stop doing that stop doing this whole thing this entire thing is totally wrong stop it this will never ever happen even spiritual teachers like you can go to a Zen master or you know some meditation teacher some retreat leader somewhere whatever and generally what they do is they take a very hands-off approach just like well if you come to me and you want it really bad yeah I’ll give you some insights but you know if you just tell me your life story I’m not gonna tell you just stop just stop like dead in your tracks thought that’s wrong you’re doing it wrong like I don’t see anybody doing this right in a sense because it’s kind of considered impolite uh you know I mean Who am I after all who am I to pry into your life and tell you what’s right and what’s wrong for you but then again who the are you to know what’s right and what’s wrong for you I mean you have no understanding of how your psychology works you have no understanding of awareness or of congi of you have almost no understanding of these things so who the are you to set the agenda for your life you see the problem here is that you’re like the captain of a ship who’s totally clueless about the journey he’s going on so you’re just fumbling through and the you’re trying is just like the the most stupid ideas that come to you is what you try because hey it came to me so I mean I don’t even know how to question I don’t know any better that’s what’s going on with you so if actualizado helps you it probably helps you simply because my philosophy is that I do want to stop you and that I do kind of want to pry into your life because in a sense I know you way better than you know yourself not because I know your particulars it’s because you’re particulars you might think your particulars are so special but they’re not very special your particulars are actually the common mistakes that almost everybody makes its predictable you’re predictable you’re a machine you’re like a predictable machine you create the same kind of problems and the same kind of stupidities that everybody else creates and you just repeat them over and over and over again in your life and how do I know that because I am you I mean I’m the same kind of machine I’m running the same software basically with little differences but basically the same thing so kind of like I’ve been where you’re at I still am where you’re at I’m talking to myself as I’m talking to you so yeah this is kind of like an intervention this is where we sit you down and we really have you re-examine your priorities your desires your goals the seeds of your strategizing that’s what we’re questioning here right because the strategies that you’re currently creating are based on false wants because the true wants are so counterintuitive that they it’s like it’s just you can’t you can’t you try to grasp it and just like slips out of your hands and you have a lot of fear and resistance to your crew owns the things you really want you’re scared shitless of actually realizing them believe it or not it’s twisted it’s a very twisted mechanism your mind very twisted and you know one day you will realize all these things that I’m saying and they will seem extremely obvious to you but it won’t happen without years of you first ignoring me you will ignore me and you will waste probably decades of your life arguing with me denying me resisting me avoiding the things I’m saying suppressing them tuning it out all that stuff or maybe you won’t maybe you’re so far gone that the most direct and the most straightforward intervention which I’m doing right here even that will not work maybe the wisest wisdom of the entire universe that the wisdom of sages and Zen masters and you know 50 years of modern self-development and a hundred years of psychotherapy and psychoanalysis and psychology studies all this the best of the best that the entire universe has come up with as a knowledge bank you know for the last thirteen or fourteen billion years as the universe has evolved right now is kind of like we’re at the forefront right we’ve got the best knowledge ever that we’ve ever had maybe the best knowledge and the best wisdom that we’ve ever had is not enough to correct your course because you are that far gone and for the most of you in fact for the majority of you that is the case that is the case and in that case I can’t help you no one can yeah maybe maybe we need to wait another thousand or ten thousand years where there will be a pill someone will invent a pill you take this pill and it does what I say for you because you’re not capable of doing it yourself because you’re too stupid to myopic see myopic you’re myopic that’s your problem you’re short-sighted you can see close but you can’t see far maybe someone will invent a pill one day that can solve your conscious my opium but until then well it’s all on your hands all right that’s it make sure to remember to click the like button post your comments down below I do read them share this episode’s friend and lastly come check out actualized are brighter this is my website and my newsletter sign up to the newsletter it’s free it’ll keep you on track with self-actualization that’s the point it’s very easy to fall off track it’s very easy to get excited one day excited for a week for a month but then you forget and you fall off track and you never hear about it again and you waste a decade of your life a decade of your life the things I’m telling you here will save you decades decades of wasting your life and free stick around stay tuned and I’ll see you more I see you with more real soon you

Danny Hutson

100 thoughts on “10 Important Things You Don’t Know You Want

  1. This..this is how I've been feeling for the last 5 yrs! This make me so emotional because everyone around me doesn't see this…but I do!

  2. I think the least popular people know are aware and live the way they actually want and it is why most people aren't drawn to them or they seem them as "too real".

  3. Nr one happens from time to time, then I think to myself, don't be a child! 🙂
    I'd say we want to be like. . . J. . . S ! 🙂

  4. Thank you for this video Leo

    If I were to add a few:
    11. The desire to be nobody [and nothing]
    12. The Desire to be everybody and everything
    13. Synchronicity (definitely part of existence feeling magical)
    14. Aligned with myself and Reality
    15. Timelessness and Flow

    It just so happens that when we live in this way… it tends to foster wonderful relationships, financial abundance etc etc. Most people are looking for the outside-in approach, which a plethora of us are lost in… but when we go from inside-out as I feel is implied and suggested by Leo, we can enjoy it all. Even if we don't get the money/relationships/free time etc, they really do pale in comparison to these… and yet of course, I think it's safe to say, most of us would prefer more money and more harmonious relationships

  5. Okay Leo this was a nice video and while I'm not close to having attained most of these things I do have an idea of how to do so, and have even tasted bits of them via meditation, mindfulness and psychedelics, except for one thing on the list: Truth, with a capital T. At least I think so, because your description has left me utterly confused as to what you were actually talking about. Do you have a video on Truth I can watch?

  6. Man, you are hardcore and sorry, if this comment got too long, so I just hope, that you will read this. I would like to give you some feedback, because you are really the first, who really helped me. Since I was born, I am highly lucid. Well right now on my 20 percent maybe. You know these jobs, cares etc. It can steal part of lucidity. These distractive things about which you speak in this video. But I mean, that I had so vivid dreams, that they have been reality for me and they still are. Well, four years ago I started to have very nasty, disgusting, dark satanic and demonic dreams, hellstuff etc. which I am not going to describe. Just to write it clearly I am not Christian, but I started visiting churches, where I prayed for its end. I wanted to deal with it by myself, but It was gradually consuming for me and honestly I thought, that I will get mad from it. And then here comes your point 7 samadhi and I think I understood it. Well, there is no demon, or Satan, well fuck, it is me. I am it. So I can also easily delete it, even if my mind was blocked for such a long time. I don´t need to fight it.
    Well I need to refocus back for to be training on acquiring these "things" and improve even more in these things, that I´ve ever done before. But I know right now, that I will have problem with the point 6 – being nobody. I know, what you mean by that, but even if I was younger (around 6-10), I´ve had idols. For example I always wanted to be like Hercules, combined with my own personality. "Kevin Sorbo, well I would like to be like. I want to be like Johny Cage from Mortal Kombat, I want to be supernatural and this shit. 😀 I don´t know, if I will be able to get on top of the thing number six. I think, other things can be trained with right focus and exercising.
    Anyway thank you pal! You really helped me and I believe, that you will help to other people too. It is good to be aware of my own existence once more, even if I still have to work on it.
    Bye man. Going to watch your video, Life is a dream right now, so be possibly prepared for a comment. 😀

  7. You are so pedantic in your preaching! How do you know if some of us do have recovered this ability to feel, see and re-live that wonder of everything that is new ?

  8. Leo, just discovered your channel and am very glad I did. This is an old video so I'd be surprised if I get a response but here goes. It seems to me your idea about letting go of your idea of God is a bit self-defeating, or perhaps a tiny bit arrogant. I don't say this aggressively or meanly, I'm just sort of thinking out loud here. By self-defeating, I mean, isn't saying "You should let go of your ideas about God" in fact itself an idea about God? By a tad arrogant, I guess I mean that you are claiming to have the absolute understanding of ultimate reality and in your view, that is a Godless reality and therefor, discussions of God are a waste of time and detaching from reality. But I believe strong logical points can be made in favor of God's existence and I think if God does exist, one could reasonably argue that that is an important thing and worthy of discussion. To claim any discussions or even arguments about God are completely worthless seems, ironically, like something of a strong dogmatic statement. Now, as far as having an openness to our belief systems and being willing to have them challenged? I can definitely get behind that. Dialoging with love and respect when it comes to matters of God? 100 percent. But i think an attempt to completely shut down a topic of discussion that has spanned millennia and to call it a total waste of time seems a bit over the top. Thoughts? But truly, I like and respect so much of what you have to say and I'm looking forward to learning more from you.

  9. Im a little confused. It tells me stuff that I supposedly want, but I don't know why I should want it. Why would I want te be a blank nobody? We need a video of why we want these and how to get these things.

  10. How do you achieve this "Fully Sober" thing? I did it once and it was like getting high. Now that I know that this shit happens with other people, I wanna know how to do it again. Any help?

  11. 55:35 were my favourite las seconds. You know, it is not in a bad manner, I feel like he's making me a favour. Thanks.

  12. I've wanted the majority of these for most of my life, but when I expressed these to anyone, they said it was stupid and wouldnt make me successful. I've also been able to look at reality with no thoughts and nobody could understand how this was possible. That I could be thinking nothing…

  13. Hello. Great video, it added color to my evening walk. I've got a quick question: what should I do to support myself physically while I'm doing said self-development work? Right now I share my parents' house and depend on them financially. If by your logic no money-getting work is worth engaging in at all, how do I find the work that is least harmful to my self-development and not a complete waste of time? I know you'll point to your life purpose course, but generally, is it still "right" to engage in a "job" while doing self-development? how much should I invest into developping the skills to get said job? how much should I work? Balance comes very difficultly to me. Thanks a lot. Have a good day

  14. I see the value of what you are sharing,but I still think this 10 things as a bonus.
    I mean if you go to psychotherapy because you are not happy etc…no one not ever will speak of these things.They will give you advices and try to find the best solution for you in order to be happy,fulfilled and ace in life…
    Unless there is something I don't see,these things are not a solution to all problems or they key to every door for what I want(yes I still want things as sex,more friends,sarisfaction) its just a bonus.

  15. The Truth is in the Bible…. and not from a religious aspect. Apply the Word to daily living. Once you start dissecting your thinking and then dissecting that and feelings associated with it all you start to think you are really crazy…. Leo you definitely have the right spirit behind your words and after all … everything is energy. There are so many views and philosophies about how to live life, but in my opinion the Bible breaks it down…. It’s either Love or Fear. If you are not “being” love you are “being” fear. Life is actually really simple, quit listening to everyone else and listen to your inner guide, your spirit, because that is Love… you will never be steered wrong!

  16. This video made me mad, but not in a "I should be worried of my anger" sort of way. Or in a "relax bro. You're just a dummie for not realizing the truth", but in a "holy shit. This guys right. And why the %$#@ haven't I seen this sooner." Type of anger. Thank you for this Leo.

  17. I'm literally freaked out by how much you know me better than I thought I knew myself.I gotta start changing some things in my life. Thank you again

  18. Hi man
    I miss the feeling of wonder when existence becomes magical.
    It happens sometimes but I wish I could do it more.
    sometimes cannabis helps but can't find a strain that helps more
    ¿ can you lead me into some exercise that could help ?
    basically I think I'm trying to increase perception

  19. Powerful, thanks. Actually there were a couple on the list that I do know I wanted. (#1-4, #9-10) I guess I have hope even though I'm still working on shifting my paradigm.

  20. 'To be a benevolent force to such a degree that you are no longer working for yourself. You are no longer worrying about yourself!'

  21. Outstanding no body ever tells you this because you don't like it and 99.99 percent of the world is the other way and this seems to be crazy but the fact is this is the truth, thanks Leo you are bold enough in presenting the Truth.

  22. For those who feel Short on time:


    you want Existence to feel Magical Again.

    the ability to see Beauty in Pure Simple things (i.e. a tree).

    the ability to experience see things, just like a Baby seeing it for the First Time.

    Being Mindful of Every moment feeling your Presence as you Breath is a key step towards

    realizing this Goal.

    Just be a



    You want to do Effortless (Daily) Work in your life.

    you Want things to be effortless . live life on Autopilot without Expectations,

    where you let things Unfold Effortlessly in front of your Eyes.



    You Want to Be Authentic.

    You want to Act, Speak, and Behave Spontaneously.

    Mastering the Art of Letting Go, while living Life Playfully, enjoying Being You.



    You want to Be a Dispassionate Mind.

    without Egoic Love- loving those things Surrounding us equally, without Neediness.

    this is done by raising your Equanimity, learning to stay calm at whatever life throws at you,

    and just accept that As Is, and let it Be.

    Remember that there is only Duality good/bad from your Egoic Point of View.

    start by realizing that everything is Gray in Unity, not Black nor white, that way you normallyAcknowledge it.



    You want to feel Sober.

    By rising your Awareness's, and consciousness's levels.

    Living reality without judging it.



    You want to Be NoBody.

    You have to realize, like an Onion, you have So many layers, beneath others,

    but deep inside you realize that you are "No Thing".



    You want Samadhi.

    You merge with the object you are Viewing (Percieving), as such, you become it,

    that, which you Observe.



    You Want Truth.

    Something that you really want, Once you have, all the other irrelevant things fall off.

    Thus, always Seek the Truth Unconditionally [or No Matter What it Takes]



    You want to be a Benevolent Force in the World.

    You have to see life in other People's Point of View, always developing Passion.

    you must feel Abundant Love first, then Transmit it Onto Others.



    You want a Simple Natural LifeStyle.

    By Eliminating Noise that has been Distracting Us from living life

    Sources of Distractions:TV, YouTube, Internet, Social Media.

    Substance Use: Alcohol, Drugs.

    Unnecessary Habbits: Windowing, Shopping.

    Unnecessary Relations: in Life, and Work.

    those has been there to Pollute us, and cloud our Judgment!

    Just be a Minimalist, master your way of Living as a Stoic, enjoy the true Nature of living live,

    while you Master the Art of Being.


    those wants are not about (EGOIC) PLEASURE.

    Hedonism that Maximizes Pleasure, always Backfires (Unto You).

    You now, you're Dreaming without you noticing you're in a Dream. Normally thinking Materialistically about life's Pleasures

    Only by finally ending up realizing the Emptiness of your life [Mid-life Crisis] that is necessary for you to rePrioritize

    your life, and to aid you setting up in the right Direction.

    Thank you for reading, Blessings on your Day!

  23. Your content helped me to understand some of my deep and impossible questions i had like questioning god.. my mother fear me to go in hell if i question about the existence of god..iam less judging, applying and trying to embody what resonates to me.

  24. Leo please please please answer me!, I was listening to your first "wish" – about the childhood and seeing everything from "fresh" eyes and I was literly crying, my jaw was on the floor.
    since I was 14 yo I started to remember those memories/magic feeling from childhood- which is very pleasent feeling THAT I CANT EVEN DESCRIBE, but I cant realy sense it- its always "almost"; nobody understand me and I cant realy express what is this feels like.
    I am persuing it til this day (19) , I think its the thing that I want the most in my life- THATS THE ONLY THING THAT IM CHASING!! but I realy dont know what to chase…..
    I can almost, almost SENSE it!!!! its on the tip of my mind.

    My question is, Leo – Can you see the world from "fresh" eyes?
    What do I need to work twords?? I just need a direction I would do anything to feel that magical feeling one more time!!!

  25. Thanks for what you are doing, you have been very helpful to me, I subscribed to your book list on payapal, thanks again for showing light upon us.

  26. Leo thank you very much! I have 2 Questions about this video:

    1. Isn't it worthwhile to be politically involved when I believe that the specific political party I involved in is the most close (in thinking and acting) to the principles you share in your videos? Because then, through the political party, I can make the world a better place and closer to the 'goodness' I want to spread to the world. Will be the awakening itself or something else I want to share the world (one of the principals you meant) through that political movement. What do you think?

  27. Hi Leo,
    I’m watching your videos around three years and you changed my perspective on live and I’ll just say thank you for all what you give to us and wish you all the best health and wealth

  28. Hello Leo, I think you are contradicting yourself when you say that people can´t experience that magic they experienced when they were toddlers. Cause then you say people experience that magic when they fall in love and I agree. When people fall in love, that feels quite magical. And all over my life I have been experiencing moments of magic over and over, They come and go. Perhaps what you can say Is that we can’t posses that magic but still sometimes we can, Or that we do not live in awe like some yogis or sipiritual people, that can see beauty and magic in everything. But I have seen that that is possible to. Not that I have gained that. But in your video it gave me the Impression that you are saying that we just can’t.

  29. Hey Leo, I partially disagree with this video. First off I think you did a great job crafting a wake up call/challenge to others and as always I love your message. I do however disagree with your idea that we really want these things and don't want other things. Especially pertaining to goals and achievement such as making a million dollars or self actualization. I agree that they aren't necessary and this list has desires that should be a priority but simultaneously I also believe why not have both? I want to experience my deep down greatest desires and experience the effects of self actualization and learn as much as I can and go after my life purpose and be balanced and everything I want to experience. Maybe everything experience as part of my tool box is necessary to decide nothing is what I want. Maybe as a monk on a secluded island for 30 years I want to experience everything in a new way and return to society and have all that wisdom translate over to even more unique experiences. I don't know, maybe we can't experience all that we want? To wrap up my ideas, maybe I disagree with you, maybe I'm missing the overall effect of these desires and they void everything, maybe your views on this topic have changed in the last 3 years lol, but I would love to know what you think now. I feel like our purpose is to experience.

  30. The dispassionate bit was hard to follow through with when I first went through this. Insecurity got the better of me and I grabbed back as quick as I could to everything that made me, me. This time around, 10 years later, I've experienced why I dont need to grab for security. Much easier.

  31. I never do any comments this is the 1st one ever but I have to say that this has changed my life and I'm going Through a lot of changes right now and I just saw your last video on life unfolds in chapters so these work hand-in-hand and I wanted thank you for putting in the work to provide this content to help people like me who are going through these hard times thank you… I Bought your life purpose course in have been following you for several years now and again thank you for doing what you do

  32. Do you actually have a partner? Since you realized time alone is better and partner generates attachment and distraction

  33. You are projecting your naivety onto your listeners. Although your topics are mildly interesting they are not your ideas. Making huge assumptions about anyone who may be listening is immature and ridiculous. You have no idea what any of us have experienced or are experiencing. I forgive you because you are obviously young and innocent. Silly boy.

  34. nikoa apostolopoulos

    with maditation i realize ….that everything is illusion , 5sences is illusion, everything is energy , positive/negative , upside/down ,heaven n hell, living the moment , and this moment is enough as a sick person only wants to rest , be happy with the nothing …as every thing you have is enough, be sensitive with enerything you eat and drink , life is a dream , there is no time and space , every one is just a thought, every one is every one ,thoughts is like the events of the dream , and the events are the thoughts ,everything is one, self is illusion , the thoughts has no producer , and this i wrote is just a thought …. i am a thought , and you are the thought too ,and everything is the thought , insist and nothing insist at itself , the point is to be or not to be without point and point ….universe is one and nothing as a thought of you and everyone together ,death is illusion as born ,everyone reborn, i am an artist and you are me and i am you …as a thought again , and all this is a thought as i am …. nikos apostolopoulos (nikos metalman on youtube)
    i work in a bank ,i have a car , am doing sculpture ,drawing ,guitar ,sports and maditation …and thats all for wat??? i wonder a lot some times but i continue doing and doing these stuff just for just doing without perpuse …,its hard to give up anything you have …but realizing all these thing i rote up giving all you have and be killed or dead or punished over your enemyes or watever is nonthing maters ..everything can be ok , no problem , yes just becuse everything is one into nothingness and. simpule life is all we need …end

  35. Hmm…i cannot recall the feeling of magic…like i didin't unlock that ability?i had fun times and was easily suprised but…i really don't remember that feeling of magic.But what i kinda remember is that i was a loot more bored than i am now.

  36. Hey what’s with all the swearing over and over.
    Enjoying the videos but the overkill on swearing is a bit over the top and annoying

  37. Amen ! The most miserable people cling to their ideologies so much they identify with them. The saddest, tragic thing you ever saw.

  38. Believe me or not that is what I have seen live all my life but I think most people can’t see life that way is because they are not free from A young age they are told how to be with their parents or their care givers. That is how you will get the inter peace

  39. Damn. We're you pissed off when you made this video? It has great content but there towards the end you got down right negative and insulting. Of course there's no such thing as negative right? Not inspired by this video.

  40. A subliminal hypnotic misdirection of reality that has plauged our ability to stay connected to eternal wisdom

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